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Girls, Pow Wows, and General Observations.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Module88, Dec 24, 2006. | Replies: 75 | Views: 2801

  1. Module88

    Module88 IncGamers Member

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    Girls, Pow Wows, and General Observations.

    So, I was at an awesome party last night from 5:45 PM to 4:15 AM. While I was there, I had plenty of food, plenty of fun, and plenty of pain. But the interesting part was the… insight I garnered from semi-participating in a female pow wow. Yes, that’s right gentleman- I have garnered some insight into what girls do when they get together and guys essentially go away. And, because I’m such a nice guy, I’m going to offer that insight to whoever reads this. Now I can’t say anything too specific (apparently it’s a source of their power and I was sworn to secrecy), but I can say things about the conclusions I’ve come to as a result of my observations.

    If one word could describe what girls do in private, it’s “gossip.†The interesting thing is that girls really aren’t all different from guys. Instead of talking about girls, they talk about guys. The girls were definitely less open than they would have been since I was there, but they did kind of whisper and giggle and poke at me during the whole thing. Long story short, they talk about how hot certain actors are (apparently) and the cute guys they’ve seen or met and the- get this- “confusion†they get when it comes to guys. They laugh, they giggle, and they have a hell of a lot of fun talking about us. But guys, they aren’t all that different from us, for the most part, so keep that in mind.


    Since I didn’t want to appear useless like I normally do, I decided to comment on why some guy might have been acting some “strange†way (the girls were having some trouble with this, although one did jump to the conclusion that the guy had a girlfriend and was cheating- so stereotypical, by the way). Lo and behold, all I got was silence. I can’t figure out for the life of me whether that meant that they thought I was being a complete moron or they were just shocked at my very simple and logical explanation, but the point is that girls really don’t have an understanding of how simple we are, in general. In fact, if anything, they’re pretty good at overcomplicating matters (surprise). In any case, I was shocked to find out that girls are in fact, similar to guys, so that’s a notable conclusion worthy of jotting down. Guys, in the future, if you want some insight into how the female mind kind of works, flip everything you talk about around and overcomplicate things (if that’s not too much trouble). It seems like girls aren’t so different from us, after all.


    The second thing I discovered was that girls are in fact, attracted to good-looking guys, and that, apparently, guys are attracted to girls with big breasts. So, before I start, if any guy can explain to me why you would be attracted to big breasts at all (personally, I prefer smaller), that would be great (JT’s explanation was… insufficiently convincing). Anyway, it turns out that girls get flustered over good-looking guys, and talk about them and how hot they are when we’re gone. Since they were more reserved with me around, I can’t prove this, but my guess is that they also talk crap about guys they meet and know too. The point is, what I’ve discovered is that in private, girls talk about guys. A LOT. During the whole party, in and out of the pow wow, I saw numerous instances of girls gathering together and giggling and laughing about something. And with the… interesting events that happened that night, I can only conclude it was about guys. So, notable conclusion number two- girls talk about hot guys more than I eat. Yeah, I know.


    The third thing I discovered was that girls LOVE to hook cute couples up together. Remember in eighth grade, we had those dances and girls would constantly mess around with people trying to get them to dance because they looked cute together?

    Well, it’s not a thing of the past. They secretly desire to hook cute couples up together and will plot, plan, and plunder to do it. And if they can’t do it, they poke fun at the people who “like†each other, but “don't like†each other. Now I had a friend that recently liked a girl, and got some help from her “girlfriends.†So, they said they’d “handle†it, giggled like mad, and ran off to plan something devious. Now I don’t know if their plans go like this on a regular basis, but they’re plan, in my personal opinion, was a POS. So ****ty was their plan, in fact, that they totally screwed my friend over inside and out and now this girl wants nothing to do with him. In essence, guys, what I’m saying is that if you want it done right, do it yourself.

    Don’t be a pussy and get someone to spill the beans for you. Don’t beat around the bush and act like an idiot in front of her. And for God’s sake don’t ask her friends to do it for you. Go up to her, tell her you like her, sincerely compliment her (this shouldn’t be too hard if you have good taste) and tell her why she's the most amazing girl you've met, and ask her out somewhere nice. And pay for the dinner. But most of all, pay attention to what she’s saying. I know the breasts are nice, but give me a ****ing break- the personality is what counts. Don’t be a dumb*** and get a really good-looking girl who can’t hold up an intelligent conversation or has the brain the size of a pea. You might not believe me now, but take my word for it- you want look at her p-e-r-s-o-n-a-l-i-t-y more than her breasts and you want to make sure she’s the kind of gal you want to be around in a few decades. So girls, if your boyfriend cheats on you, it's partly because you made a pretty piss poor decision when it came to looking at his personality because you were too busy looking at his... attractive features, and guys, if your girlfriend cheats on you, it's partly because you made a pretty piss poor decision when it came to looking at her personality because you were too busy thinking about how big her breasts were. In other words, one reason cheating happens in the first place is because one or more people in the relationship is a dumb***. So, if you want to save yourself some trouble, DON'T BE A DUMB***. ARG.

    I don’t really know how I got from “girls like to hook people up†to “DON'T BE A DUMB***,†but jot it down anyway, because believe it or not, I know what I’m talking about. Even if it doesn’t seem like it. I'm just in a bad mood, I guess.


    Now, I’m tired. I’m bleeding. I’m swollen. And I probably have a bacterial infection. So this’ll be it for now. The party kicked serious ***. So, for now, I’ll leave you guys to ponder about my conclusions.

    So, for the lazy, a recap of the things you should write down and remember.

    1. If you flip everything a guy does over and overcomplicate it, you have what girls do.
    2. Girls like good-looking guys.
    3. Girls like to hook cute couples up together.
    4. Don’t be a dumb***.

    :Thumbsup:
  2. {KOW}Spazed

    {KOW}Spazed Banned

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    So you aren't going to tell us why you are bleeding, swollen, and infected?
  3. ogogo on ice

    ogogo on ice IncGamers Member

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    Wait...that all happened at the pow-wow too? And you don't explain how it happened? You left our half the good stuff!


    Edit: ...curses, beaten to it by KOW. Bah.



  4. Gertlex

    Gertlex Banned

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    I've been privy to such experiences before myself... Not sure it's been a positive thing for my relationship life (i.e. friends with said girls, they'd never date me ;) )

    And if I weren't so cautious about my sig, 2. and 3. would be it.

    Now to read your entire post.



  5. Module88

    Module88 IncGamers Member

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    I think I've made enough sacrifices to bring back this information to you all, so, no. -_-'



  6. Gertlex

    Gertlex Banned

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    We'll pay for the therapy sessions if you tell us first.



  7. cyclotronic

    cyclotronic IncGamers Member

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    How man did you bag?
  8. Module88

    Module88 IncGamers Member

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    Thank you for confirming number one on the list, Dutch. :rolleyes: Little late, though. -_-'
  9. PatMaGroin

    PatMaGroin IncGamers Member

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    TLDR
    Oh.

    And damn, Dutch... I'll be surprised if that post is left untouched when I wake up in the morning.
  10. Dutchman

    Dutchman IncGamers Member

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    I'm drunk, cut me some slack. :)

    Dutch
  11. Yossarian

    Yossarian IncGamers Member

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    Dutch that was poetry. And in truth it was spot on.

    Guys want to know how to become a lady killer? Do what I did (stumble onto by accident). Have a good friend, that is a Lesbian, teach you how to become a cunning-lingwist. I learned so much. And man does word spread among the girls fast.

    Give a talented person an hour and make that number more like 10-20.
  12. Omikron8

    Omikron8 IncGamers Member

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    so these girls like cute guys right? they want guys that are as cute as these actors they fantasize about?

    anything else they want? perhaps tons of money from a man and a great personality to boot?

    so what can we ask of them? i'm guessing nothing because otherwise we would be labelled as sexist garbage right?

    ****ing media

    and wow what an earth-shattering revelation that men appreciate women with good physical attributes, heaven forbid we actually desire to keep the human race alive in the future, hooray for feminism

    if you haven't heard about it yet read about "ladder theory", it explains a lot of what is screwed up in attempts at male-female relationships
  13. Lord Nyax

    Lord Nyax Banned

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    Feminism is arguably the worst thing to happen to the state of individual freedoms in the history of the world. The double standard set for women and men is utterly sickening...and feminists tend to be pretty annoying too.

    P.S.: Yoss, good lesbian friends that are willing to teach you that kind of stuff don't just grow on trees (don't read any innuendo into that).
  14. Bortaz

    Bortaz Banned

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    What does that mean, and why are you the only person that seems to use it?



  15. Dutchman

    Dutchman IncGamers Member

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    Fellas, no offense, but unless your girl is Bi all the lesbian help in the world don't help.

    You can either eat pussy or you can't. what equipment you have alongside your tongue really doesnlt matter. Do you understand the female anatomy? Its a yes or no question.

    Dutch
  16. Yossarian

    Yossarian IncGamers Member

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    I ended up being a 1/2 credit short of a minor in Women Studies when getting my undergrad degree. I found it fasinating as to what some girls though Feminism was. I remember being the only person in my tutorial (with 10 girls) who supported pornography. I argued that excluding rape and kiddy stuff, which is a crime anyway, that its a good thing. After about 30 minutes one of the girls turned to the prof and said "Will you tell him that he's wrong so he'll shutup?". The prof looked at the girl and said "He's said the only things I agree with." It was one of my favorite moments in Uni. I kept saying that if a woman chooses that line of work that it is her choice alone and is a great representation of what true feminism is and that if you argue against her work because it degrades you, you've already lost any right to say "my body my choice" in abortion arguements. I was truely shocked at how they couldn't understand such simple connections. What was even worse is that 2-3 of the girls had never even seen a porno.

    Oh and they do grow on trees but I'm not aloud to say where Themyscira is. :grin:



  17. Carnage-DVS

    Carnage-DVS IncGamers Member

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    Har, I may be in the position where friends of the girl I'm interested in might/already are trying to maneuver us. Good thing the girl is totally oblivious to most things like that.
  18. Dondrei

    Dondrei IncGamers Member

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    Heh, welcome to What Women Are Like 101, Mod. I take it this is your first contact with the opposite sex outside cocktails being thrown in your face.

    Having grown up around a lot of women, I know a lot about what they do in their pow-wows. What you've detailed here is essentially what could be learned just by, I don't know, ever meeting a single woman in your entire life or something. Pow-wow lore still awaits, my boy.

    P.S. Thread scheduled for deletion/incredibly heavy editing...

    This is good advice.

    The only thing worse that could've happened is it not happening.

    Don't get me started on radical feminists, I left feminism long ago because of them.



  19. WildBerry

    WildBerry IncGamers Member

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    Dutch is on a roll here.

    Posting in a legendary, soon-to-be-shut-down -thread.
  20. P2blr

    P2blr IncGamers Member

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    I want in on this before it goes south.

    to Module, you wanna know why guys like big breasts? it cuase they're fun to have in your face, in your hands, in your lap. I love 'em.
    I'll agree that personality is greater than boobs, but for a one nighter, I don't care what her opinion is on... string theory? or pretty much anything.

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