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Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Kokolums, Mar 23, 2012. | Replies: 31 | Views: 2653

  1. Kokolums

    Kokolums IncGamers Member

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    Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    Just wondering what everyone's home life was like growing up.
  2. BobCox2

    BobCox2 IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    All the time, I had a Ideal Childhood.

    My wife is a School Psychologist and has told me stories of getting a Mother and Son their first hug ever that he remembered getting from her.

    And others hear it during abuse only with added "but don't tell anyone or I will kill you" etc.

    I hug my Grandkids and My Kid's all the time, Twice every time they visit (weeklythese days) at Greetings and Goodbys.
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2012
  3. TurbulentTurtle

    TurbulentTurtle IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    Naw son, my family ain't exactly the show-yo-affection type. As far as I can remember, never received a hug from either of my parents before 'n I ain't screwed 'cause of it, just thought it was normal. I always saw people in TV shows and movies hugging their parents and stuff but I always just assumed it was done for TV purposes.
    I remember back in 7th grade some girl extended her arms for the "give me dat sweet man-hug, big pimp" action, and I didn't know what was going on. I ended up shaking her hand 'cause I panicked and didn't know what to do.




    Swag.
  4. stillman

    stillman IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    My upbringing was pretty rough, my father being an alcoholic who died at 50. He did say he loved me once, but actions speak louder than words, so it meant nothing to me. I find my writing projects are pretty cold and dark, probably from poor parenting, but maybe some good can come out of it?


  5. Vivi

    Vivi IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    Sorry to hear that. I know about the being told you're loved when actions speak differently - no alcoholic parents fortunately but it is amazing how much in life is determined by whether your parents wanted you in their lives... it affects so many things. When colleagues and friends talk about what they did or how they grow up or how they in the now visit their families, you will always go compare to your own situation which can be more than just painful.



  6. Damascus

    Damascus IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    Yes, yes they did.
  7. snowieken

    snowieken <img src="http://forums.diabloii.net/images/pal.gi

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    My dad did, and he's the one who died when I was still pretty young... I was in constant conflict with my mom after that, but ever since I moved out about 10 years ago I love her to death.

    That said, my last words to my dad was that I thought he was a big you-know-what, but well... I'm sure he knows how I feel.
  8. Technomancer

    Technomancer IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    I didn't have a bad childhood, just... bland. My mom told me she loved me on a semi-regular basis, when we weren't at war over school. Which was most of my life from 4th-10th grade. My dad has probably said it 2-3 times in my entire life, when I was little, but it kinda makes sense. He's just not really the type to say things like that, it was almost awkward hearing it from him even when I was a little kid. :scratchhead: He's the old-school, "men don't show emotion" blank-slate type. He was never mean, but it was the rule that no one ever annoy him, and law that no one ever piss him off. Law. He never beat us or anything, it was just something about his personality, you just do NOT piss off dad!

    None of us ever did much of anything together, just get up, do your thing (school, work, etc.), go to bed. Never did much vacationing after I was 7-8. Really, growing up, I felt like I was more raised by my siblings than my parents.

    Fortunately, they're both still kicking, and they're both still together, unlike the vast majority of my friend's parents. I get along with them now better than I ever did as a kid.
  9. BobCox2

    BobCox2 IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    I always knew you were spoiled.

    How often do you tell it to them?


    You have less time left to do it in Techno.

    :D

    Really you will thank me

    Spend more time doing it yourself everyone if you have the chance and they are alive and compos mentis.


  10. jmervyn

    jmervyn IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    My Mom did, but she wasn't very believable; her family was originally Midwestern like Techno's and the lack of open emotion runs strong in a lot of those 'cultural groups'.

    My Dad did on a couple of occasions, but he was unhappy because after the divorce (I was four at the time) I called him by his proper name. I barely saw him for one month out of the year, and I had the traditional "wicked stepmother", so I don't know why he would be surprised.
  11. Leopold Stotch

    Leopold Stotch IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    I'd like to think my biological father did when I was growing up. I was really close to him and when he left, I was angry and blamed it on my mother, etc. etc. My mother would tell me all the time, a lot of the time I didn't believe it or feel it. I felt like a constant screw up and she loved my sibs more than me. My step-father told us like when we would leave for a school trip or something... Now that I look back, it may have been awkward but he had a bit of a hard life growing up and probably didn't know how to express feelings.

    My sibs and I tell each other, but it's kinda rare. I remember laughing and being in shock when a co-worker of mine said at the end of a phone conversation with her brother "I love you." I thought she was talking to her boyfriend and when she was like, "No, it was my brother." I was like, "WTF?! HAHAHA! SERIOUSLY? My bro and I don't do that at all! Siblings tell each other that?"
  12. CyberHawk

    CyberHawk IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    Well I don't really want to get into my childhood honestly. Needless to say me and my brother have been together(close) since we could identify each other...we don't say I love you..Hell no. But people don't have to say it to make others believe it. Actions speak louder for me.

    My Dad in the past would, in conversations..usually those "bad, sad, life ending" ones say something along the lines of "well you both know I love you"....and for some reason it pissed me off honestly. Same with my brother.
    My Mom calls every now and then and ends with "IIII Looooove Youuuu"...and really..I don't like it. I have said it back just to end this moment.
    I know my parents love me. They don;t have to say it, and I really don't want to hear it.

    I don't say it to my kids. And thinking about all this, it makes me feel bad. I love my kids to no end. They should now this, but I'm sure one day I start an odd conversation with...sigh. "you both know I love you".....dammit.
    I really don't know how to say it to them without feeling funny. If I said it, they would just look at me like...what's a matter? They hear me say it to the wife everyday.
    I don't know. I'm eff'd up in so many ways I guess.
    But like I said, my actions speak much louder then my words. I show my love thru them. And would gladly die for them.
  13. BobCox2

    BobCox2 IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    Um..
    You don't have to die for them I hope, but try telling your kid's you love them when you see them in the morning and at the end of the day.
    Kind of like the way you do to the wife in front of them.

    Just a suggestion.

    In spite of actions, or intentions, never (well hardly ever!) hearing it leaves a mark.
    and you know it.

    You just told me so.

    And words with actions show more than actions alone.
    Or don't you love them enough to be bothered?

    I'm sure you do but I have to point it out. Always end with a call to action in a good argument :D
  14. Technomancer

    Technomancer IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    Bob, I know you're trying to do good and your heart's in the right place, but saying stuff like this is a good way to make people want to punch you in the face. The spoiler doesn't change that.

    Just sayin'.


  15. Leopold Stotch

    Leopold Stotch IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    well, i agree with Bob. i know for some people it's weird to say, "I love you mijo/mija" (son/daughter) but... if you NEVER say it? it does leave a mark and you grow up wondering, "Did my parents EVER love me?" my mother would but it's the way she would say it sometimes that made me wonder and her actions. I mean, I'm no saint or angel and I did some bad things, but... sometimes, you can't help but wonder.
  16. CyberHawk

    CyberHawk IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    My parents have a lot of problems....A lot. Even to this day, it's sad really, I do feel sorry for them both.

    I had more typed out but it's to long to get into really.
    I have had step-moms, step-dads over and over, and over again. Some beat, some yell, some are dangerous, some are happy drunks. Me and my brother have seen it all...sure some see much worse, so much worse...but it opens the eyes ya know.
    I'm still married after 13 yrs to the same woman. Got two sons, just like me and my brother were. The life they live day to day is so much better......omg, I can't even stress this enough. To know what we've come from, to where we are, it's amazing. We are glad we lived thru it actually. My sons know this, they know my past life, I've told them...some of it still goes on thru my parents even today, which we pretty much "block" from our familes as much as possible.
    I mean my mom could be dead right now, and we wouldn't even know, no one would tell me and my brother, till we were asked to carry the casket...my Dad had Cancer last year, he never told us, till he was going to get Organs removed.....and we work together, everyday! <<this is what I don't want to get into. I don't want to badmouth them on a forum about certain ways they do things. That's them, not me.
    So the way I see it, if I don't say "I love you" everyday, then ok I'm somehow screwed up somehow in this area. I don't know why. My brother "I asked him today actually for the first time", do you say I love you to your kids, he does, morning and night. I told him I only say it to the wife, and you know, the kids should just know. He understands. He both do not want to hear our parents say it to us...why is this?
    We both know they love us, of course they do....but honestly, if tomorrow my Dad say "son, I really don't love you, you have been a pain since you were born"....i'm honestly ok with this, doesn't bother me. And would prolly explain a lot..lol.
    This will never happen to my kids. My kids love me, I know this, they don't have to tell me.
    In a way, we lost a lot of respect for both our parents growing up. They were there for themselves, while we were growing up pretty much off the street. My Dad so so obsessed with my mom after the divorce "the war" pretty much lasted about 15 yrs. So many fights, I can remember before I was even five.
    One of my oldest memories is of my aunt beating my mom's *** while my Dad was pretty much letting her do it, while we sat in the picture window and watched in horror of my mom getting tore apart. I still remember seeing my reflection in the glass crying, while she was looking up at us fighting her off....I have a deep hate for a lot of my family. I don't care if they tell me they love me or not. But I do care for them, even still.
    Where there's bad, there's good. I prayed for what I have today, and was blessed. I thank God a lot for what I hear everyday. Laughter instead of screaming. Crying of a sad movie, not a sad situation. I see smiles everyday...I smile everyday. And pray it never leaves me. Keep me poor, I don't care, I pray for health and happiness. In the house that I built (literally), good prevails.

    Some may not understand some of this. And like I said, I don't want to get into 30 yrs of "stuff". But I learned along time ago "you follow your heart, and you'll never go wrong". My heart tells me that what I'm doing is fine today...but who knows...maybe some "I love you's" wouldn't hurt. I mean honestly, it makes me smile thinking about it. ;)
  17. magicrectangle

    magicrectangle IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    My parents were always pretty affectionate when I was younger, but they reacted poorly to my teenage rebellion phase, and things have been awkward since then. For the most part they are intolerable to be around, with the exception that my dad and I go on a white water trip once a year. For whatever reason my dad's personality is just completely different on the river than back in civilization, it mellows him out a lot.

    Here's what we do when we're able to tolerate each other:
    http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/2140/rainyfallslx1.jpg
  18. TurbulentTurtle

    TurbulentTurtle IncGamers Member

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  19. Stevinator

    Stevinator IncGamers Member

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    yes they did, and we're still close. they're less than an hour away and I visit regularly.
  20. Noodle

    Noodle <img src="http://forums.diabloii.net/images/pal.gi

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    Re: Did your parents ever tell you they loved you?

    Both parents did and still do, and I'm 42. And I tell my 14 year old son.

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