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Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by TurbulentTurtle, Mar 23, 2012. | Replies: 36 | Views: 1649

  1. TurbulentTurtle

    TurbulentTurtle IncGamers Member

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    Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    Follow up:
    How much milk do you put into your cereal bowl.
    [ ] flooded
    [ ] 50/50
    [ ] very little milk, lots of dat sweet cereal
    [ ] I don't eat cereal because I'm a pleb.
  2. snowieken

    snowieken <img src="http://forums.diabloii.net/images/pal.gi

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    I didn't vote, am somewhat in the middle. I don't want it to be too soggy and I don't want it to be too crunchy. It also highly depends on the kind of cereal for me.

    As to the milk question, 50/50, I suppose. Another question can be "Do you drink the milk after finishing the cereal?" to which I would reply "Yes, I do."

    What I also like to do is suck on it a bit before chewing it down.

    In before "That's what she said"...
  3. Pyrotechnician

    Pyrotechnician IncGamers Site Pal

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    I demand that there be no milk in my cereal! I always have completely dry cereal and then a tall glass of milk on the side.
  4. BobCox2

    BobCox2 IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    World-class cereal-eating is a dance of fine compromises.
    The giant heaping bowl of sodden cereal, awash in milk, is the mark of the novice.
    Ideally one wants the bone-dry cereal nuggets and the cryogenic milk to enter the mouth with minimal contact and for the entire reaction between them to take place in the mouth. ... The next-best thing is to work in small increments, putting only a small amount...in your bowl at a time and eating it all up before it becomes a pit of loathsome slime, which takes about thirty seconds in the case of Cap'n Crunch.

    He pours the milk with one hand while jamming the spoon in with the other, not wanting to waste a single moment of the magical, golden time when cold milk and Cap’n Crunch are together but have not yet begun to pollute each other’s essential natures: two Platonic ideals separated by a boundary a molecule wide. Where the flume of milk splashes over the spoon-handle, the polished stainless steel fogs with condensation

    The giant spoon goes into his mouth before the milk in the bowl has even had time to seek its own level. A few drips come off the bottom

    Meanwhile all his concentration is fixed on the interior of his mouth, which naturally he cannot see, but which he can imagine in three dimensions as if zooming through it in a virtual reality display. Here is where a novice would lose his cool and simply chomp down. A few of the nuggets would explode between his molars, but then his jaw would snap shut and drive all of the unshattered nuggets straight up into his palate where their armor of razor-sharp dextrose crystals would inflict massive collateral damage, turning the rest of the meal into a sort of pain-hazed death march and rendering him Novocain mute for three days.

    But The Pro has, over time, worked out a really fiendish Cap’n Crunch eating strategy that revolves around playing the nuggets’ most deadly features against each other. The nuggets themselves are pillow-shaped and vaguely striated to echo piratical treasure chests. Now, with a flake-type of cereal, the strategy would never work. But then, Cap’n Crunch in a flake form would be suicidal madness; it would last about as long, when immersed in milk, as snowflakes sifting down into a deep fryer. No, the cereal engineers at General Mills had to find a shape that would minimize surface area, and, as some sort of compromise between the sphere that is dictated by Euclidean geometry and whatever sunken-treasure-related shapes that the cereal-aestheticians were probably clamoring for, they came up with this hard-to-pin-down striated pillow formation. The important thing is that the individual pieces of Cap’n Crunch are, to a very rough approximation, shaped kind of like molars. The strategy, then, is to make the Cap’n Crunch chew itself by grinding the nuggets together in the center of the oral cavity, like stones in a lapidary tumbler. Like advanced ballroom dancing, verbal explanations (or for that matter watching videotapes) only goes so far and then your body just has to learn the moves.
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2012
  5. TurbulentTurtle

    TurbulentTurtle IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    Cap'n Crunch may be the one cereal that might be better softer.









    Psych!
    I ain't no *****, bring on dem rocks 'n pebbles, son!
  6. BobCox2

    BobCox2 IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    That's what She said.


  7. Dredd

    Dredd D3 Off Topic Moderator

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    *Pours Turb a nice bowl of dry grape nuts*



  8. snowieken

    snowieken <img src="http://forums.diabloii.net/images/pal.gi

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    I did beat you to it!



  9. Leopold Stotch

    Leopold Stotch IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    I hate when my cereal (or bread) is soggy! but i don't like it with little milk so i gobble it as fast as i can so it wont be super soggy and nasty!

    and **** fruity pebbles and fruit loops! Raisin bran or any of that healthy cereal all the way!! :thumbup:
  10. Pyrotechnician

    Pyrotechnician IncGamers Site Pal

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    OH YEAH, APPLE JACKS!!

    I like Cinnamon Toast CRUNCH too.

    I despise soggy hence why I have a glass of milk instead of it contained in the same space as my cereal. Who decided such a concept was a good idea?
  11. Leopold Stotch

    Leopold Stotch IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    me.

    1234567
  12. Pyrotechnician

    Pyrotechnician IncGamers Site Pal

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    Who gave you permission to do such a thing?
  13. Leopold Stotch

    Leopold Stotch IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    *see previous post*

    I DO WUT I WANT!

    [​IMG]
  14. TurbulentTurtle

    TurbulentTurtle IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    It's not real cereal unless it's got a cartoon mascot on the front.
    Even worst when it's a picture of two old ladies on a bike ride on the back of the box.

    Real talk.
  15. Pyrotechnician

    Pyrotechnician IncGamers Site Pal

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    Alright, alright, you do what you want.

    Raisin Bran is still boring though....
  16. Leopold Stotch

    Leopold Stotch IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    no, i just don't have a super sweet tooth and prefer some health to my cereal, lol. ^_^

    i can't stand Fruit Loops. **** that **** straight up, yo! my step-father would buy it ALL THE TIME growing up, and not even in the box. It was the bag cereal kind and.... goddamnit, I ****ing hate Fruit Loops, lol!!
  17. TurbulentTurtle

    TurbulentTurtle IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    I go fully body frontal, son. Ain't nobody stoppin' this train.
    [​IMG]
  18. Leopold Stotch

    Leopold Stotch IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    *lurches*

    screw the cereal! I wanna see Turtle nekkid!
  19. TurbulentTurtle

    TurbulentTurtle IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    Y'all don't even know.
    Estranged, distant, incommunicado, dem cravats be cut apparently, seems to this G-slam F for fort, wazgood witchoo dough. Ain't no more soupie up in this *****, y''eard.

    50/50 Reese Silly Circles, champions be fearin' dat RAW POWAH.
  20. BobCox2

    BobCox2 IncGamers Member

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    Re: Cereal: Crunchy or Soggy.

    How much sugar have you had today?
    Here's some money OK
    [​IMG]
    Now Calm down.


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