OT: What amazes you about your partner?

[Arkardo]

@Fabian: yep, she is... I was convinced we'd never be together again, but she has been talking a lot with close friends of ours, and she has learned a lot from that. I would never have trusted her anymore, but those same friends have also talked to me, and they said they were convinced that she had genuinely changed. At first I wouldn't believe them (or, rather, *her*), and when she approached me again I once again rejected her brutally. Then I talked with our friends again they said they were still convinced she had changed, and that she was genuinely heart-broken. She and I then talked things over.

I've noticed that she shows a lot more patience and understanding, and that she can handle criticism very well now. Most importantly, she's much more open and honest about her feelings now.

I've also misinterpreted some of her actions, mostly due to cultural differences. Like her, I've also learned a lot, and I'm not saying that we're not going to have any more problems ('cause we will), but we're now much better able to discuss those problems, and not panic and make premature assumptions. In other words, we can now actually work on problems.

[Kitteh]

@Fabian: yep, she is... I was convinced we'd never be together again, but she has been talking a lot with close friends of ours, and she has learned a lot from that. I would never have trusted her anymore, but those same friends have also talked to me, and they said they were convinced that she had genuinely changed. At first I wouldn't believe them (or, rather, *her*), and when she approached me again I once again rejected her brutally. Then I talked with our friends again they said they were still convinced she had changed, and that she was genuinely heart-broken. She and I then talked things over.

I've noticed that she shows a lot more patience and understanding, and that she can handle criticism very well now. Most importantly, she's much more open and honest about her feelings now.

I've also misinterpreted some of her actions, mostly due to cultural differences. Like her, I've also learned a lot, and I'm not saying that we're not going to have any more problems ('cause we will), but we're now much better able to discuss those problems, and not panic and make premature assumptions. In other words, we can now actually work on problems.

Relationships have problems, its just a fact of life. I think its more important to concentrate on how you deal with them

[Korlic]

@Fabian: yep, she is... I was convinced we'd never be together again, but she has been talking a lot with close friends of ours, and she has learned a lot from that. I would never have trusted her anymore, but those same friends have also talked to me, and they said they were convinced that she had genuinely changed. At first I wouldn't believe them (or, rather, *her*), and when she approached me again I once again rejected her brutally. Then I talked with our friends again they said they were still convinced she had changed, and that she was genuinely heart-broken. She and I then talked things over.

I've noticed that she shows a lot more patience and understanding, and that she can handle criticism very well now. Most importantly, she's much more open and honest about her feelings now.

I've also misinterpreted some of her actions, mostly due to cultural differences. Like her, I've also learned a lot, and I'm not saying that we're not going to have any more problems ('cause we will), but we're now much better able to discuss those problems, and not panic and make premature assumptions. In other words, we can now actually work on problems.

I hope the best for you dude, but I fear you are in for a dissapointment. The way you have written about this relationship in the past, I find it hard to believe she has changed that much. It sounds like she lures you back in under her control. But as said I hope the best for you.

[GooberGrape]

@Fabian: yep, she is... I was convinced we'd never be together again, but she has been talking a lot with close friends of ours, and she has learned a lot from that. I would never have trusted her anymore, but those same friends have also talked to me, and they said they were convinced that she had genuinely changed. At first I wouldn't believe them (or, rather, *her*), and when she approached me again I once again rejected her brutally. Then I talked with our friends again they said they were still convinced she had changed, and that she was genuinely heart-broken. She and I then talked things over.

I've noticed that she shows a lot more patience and understanding, and that she can handle criticism very well now. Most importantly, she's much more open and honest about her feelings now.

I've also misinterpreted some of her actions, mostly due to cultural differences. Like her, I've also learned a lot, and I'm not saying that we're not going to have any more problems ('cause we will), but we're now much better able to discuss those problems, and not panic and make premature assumptions. In other words, we can now actually work on problems.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency

[SunsetVista]

I was kinda surprised to hear you got back together Arkardo, after reading some of those other threads. I hope things work out for you both. =)

[Fabian]

Not much point in piling on guys. Plus, she's changed.

Keep us updated Arkardo!!!

[Arkardo]

@Korlic & Goober: I'm well aware of the risks, and it's not like I blindly trust her; I've read a lot about narcissism and co-dependancy, and I was actually convinced she was a narcissist. That's why I've turned her down quite a few times, in ways more rude than necessary. However, she continued showing her positive changes, both towards our friends and towards me.

She has acknowledged her mistakes, and her actions and words feel genuine. I'm not being apologetic towards her, but the thing is that everyone has some narcissistic traits. While I do think that she is or was more of a narcissist than the average person, I believe she's not a full-blown one (because they cannot change), and that things won't turn abusive again. She's not perfect, but she has learned, and so have I.

[Thyiad]

His existence.

Serious answer: patience and understanding and his commitment to trying to make things work.

[Pyrotechnician]

*Insert answer inappropriate for the forums here*

[coju]

@Fabian: yep, she is... I was convinced we'd never be together again, but she has been talking a lot with close friends of ours, and she has learned a lot from that. I would never have trusted her anymore, but those same friends have also talked to me, and they said they were convinced that she had genuinely changed. At first I wouldn't believe them (or, rather, *her*), and when she approached me again I once again rejected her brutally. Then I talked with our friends again they said they were still convinced she had changed, and that she was genuinely heart-broken. She and I then talked things over.

I've noticed that she shows a lot more patience and understanding, and that she can handle criticism very well now. Most importantly, she's much more open and honest about her feelings now.

I've also misinterpreted some of her actions, mostly due to cultural differences. Like her, I've also learned a lot, and I'm not saying that we're not going to have any more problems ('cause we will), but we're now much better able to discuss those problems, and not panic and make premature assumptions. In other words, we can now actually work on problems.

Very glad to hear you two are working it out! I haven't read many of the other threads, but can you say that since y'all've decided to stay together that you two are closer now?