Cover Letter Assistance/Opinions Please.

[LozHinge the Unhinged]

DEY DURK AR NEENERS!




Disclaimer: Actually, no. That was "The State"

[jmervyn]

Disclaimer: Actually, no. That was "The State"

I ensure maintenance of partial literacy with contemporary youth culture, so I understand the South Park reference. I do this as part of my job. Really.

Which reminds me - don't use jargon or other strange communication in your cover letter, unless specifically sought after by the company (like using the term SCADA with some utilities provider).

[Leopold Stotch]

Well, aside from the old line about "all a woman has to do to get a man is her hair", I don't think it would take you even that much if you look like she does.

WELL THEN... I'll put on that potato sack, add a little rouge, and look fabulous!! jk, jk. I don't think I look that bad. Not her level, but, ya know, decent.

NONONO. COVER LETTER. "X" out the PII (Personally Identifiable Information).

Of course, I would keep anything in the strictest confidence, even though I no longer maintain my TS-SBI clearance. :neener:

EDIT WHAT THE HELL DID THEY DO WITH :NEENER: ??!?

Eep. Sure, Merv. I'll get it to you right away! When I can get arsed to do it.

Neener? *laughs uproariously* I wonder... A lot of things have gone. :grin: was one of my faves. And :azn: . :cry: . :slut: . Oh, wait. that was never on here. XD

I ensure maintenance of partial literacy with contemporary youth culture, so I understand the South Park reference. I do this as part of my job. Really.

Which reminds me - don't use jargon or other strange communication in your cover letter, unless specifically sought after by the company (like using the term SCADA with some utilities provider).

SCADA? WTF is SCADA? It sounds like a really bad skin rash disease!! Worse than eczema! A step above syphilis! Scabies? Is it scabies?

And no, I know not to use youth jargon in professional assignments like this.

[jmervyn]

WELL THEN... I'll put on that potato sack, add a little rouge, and look fabulous!! jk, jk. I don't think I look that bad. Not her level, but, ya know, decent.

You know what they say: pics or it din't happen.

Eep. Sure, Merv. I'll get it to you right away! When I can get arsed to do it.

I'm only half joking; consider us the infinite number of monkeys. Winged ones, if you're feeling mean.

SCADA? WTF is SCADA? It sounds like a really bad skin rash disease!! Worse than eczema! A step above syphilis! Scabies? Is it scabies?

Even worse.

Plus I once argued on the old Computerworld forums that NOBODY would be stupid enough to do exactly what was done. The numb-nuts who control major infrastructure like nuclear plants, the electrical grid, hydroelectric plants, and so forth thought, "Gee, you know what would be GREAT? Let's make all our controls available on the Internet and use Windows machines to access them! What could go wrong?"

You never heard that the true cause of the 2003 East Coast blackout was not only from a tree, but from the SCADA servers fecking up by the numbers thanks to their running Microsoft Windows and having to deal with the "Blaster" worm. Why? Because Microsoft carpet-bombed anyone mentioning it with warning letters and lawyers, that's why.

And no, I know not to use youth jargon in professional assignments like this.

It was general guidance, really, but jargon of any kind is "iffy". One thing I was warned off about was using military unit designations or abbreviations ("3/5 Cav, 1st Bde 3rd AD") and particularly acronyms.

[krischan]

So I should wear a skin tight polka dot dress, wear big and ugly glasses, straighten my hair, and sing songs? That will get me a man? Hell, if only I knew that...

Uh, this ist about getting a man now, not a job?

I for myself like skin tight dresses, but if you want a job, you better don't make that much use of your female stimulation potential with a dress like that .

[stillman]

^unless it's a restaurant or bar job.

[jmervyn]

I for myself like skin tight dresses, but if you want a job, you better don't make that much use of your female stimulation potential with a dress like that .

Business skirts can look really hot and professional at the same time, but the hemline is problematic. Too high and you're labeled a slut.

[Leopold Stotch]

[krischan]

I can't read the topmost word, but are you sure there aren't more farther up?

[LozHinge the Unhinged]

Above the last word is a list of costs and other such important business details.