Off-Topic in the OTF

[BobCox2]

To be read in the voice of Paul Harvey.
And on the eighth day God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need someone who can flip this for a quick buck.”
So God made a banker.
God said, “I need someone who doesn’t grow anything or make anything but who will borrow money from the public at 0% interest and then lend it back to the public at 2% or 5% or 10% and pay himself a bonus for doing so.”
So God made a banker.
God said, “I need someone who will take money from the people who work and save, and use that money to create a dotcom bubble and a housing bubble and a stock bubble and an oil bubble and a commodities bubble and a bond bubble and another stock bubble, and then sell it to people in Poughkeepsie and Spokane and Bakersfield, and pay himself another bonus.”
So God made a banker.
Click to Play
Dodge’s 'farmer' ad

In this Super Bowl ad, Chrysler pays tribute to the American farmer.

God said, “I need someone to build homes in the swamps and deserts using shoddy materials and other people’s money, and then use these homes as collateral for a Ponzi scheme he can sell to pensioners in California and Michigan and Sweden. I need someone who will then foreclose on those homes, kick out the occupants, and switch off the air conditioning and the plumbing, and watch the houses turn back into dirt. And then pay himself another bonus.”
God said, “I need someone to lend money to people with bad credit at 30% interest in order to get his stock price up, and then, just before the loans turn bad, cash out his stock and walk away. And who, when asked later, will, with a tearful eye, say the government made him do it.”
God said, “And I need somebody who will tell everyone else to stand on their own two feet, but who will then run to the government for a bailout as soon as he gets into trouble — and who will then use that bailout money to help elect a Congress that will look the other way. And then pay himself another bonus.”
So God made a banker.

[Ash Housewares]

I don't know who Paul Harvey is so I'm going to read it in Paul Mooney's voice and surely be more entertained

ah who am I kidding, I'm not gonna read that

[jmervyn]

I don't know who Paul Harvey is

See, sometimes you shake the magic 8-Bob and you get words of wisdom.

[Leopold Stotch]

*yawn*

*stretch*

Ahh, I see I didn't miss much. That was a semi-restful nap for le account.

[Stevinator]

Someone just told me that Kerry will put "JK" after all his official State Dept Tweets.

#SecKerry will start tweeting from @statedept. Tweets from him will have his initials -JK
— StateDept (@StateDept) February 4, 2013

[krischan]

*yawn*

*stretch*

*scratches butt*

*opens beer bottle*

*glug glug glug*

*BELCH*

Weekend, ahhh!

[LozHinge the Unhinged]

:bourbon:

:more bourbon:

Hell w'this ****

[Leopold Stotch]

Such proper gents. :rolleyes:

[Stevinator]

Classy guys. I drink Coors light unless I can convince my bro to bring home something interesting from work (he works at a fancy liquor store, so there's all sorts of various beers).

You know it's a crappy beer when the selling point is a wider mouth can and the can changes color when it's cold. Marketing! Anyway, they're easy to drink, and taste the best of the cheap beers. Plus they're not a meal. Some of those bombers are 9+%, and have more calories than I usually eat in a day.

[Leopold Stotch]

I did drink a peach ale once. It was good. But I'm not a beer person so... Can I haz wine or liquor please?

/kitty beg