One Filet-O-Fish, No Bun, No Condiments

[pharphis]

You'll find as you get further that the vast majority of white items you won't be able to equip, anyway, unless you're investing in str for some crazy reason. then it will just be the super nice wands you want to look at which you will accidentally equip :/

[coju]

You'll find as you get further that the vast majority of white items you won't be able to equip, anyway, unless you're investing in str for some crazy reason. then it will just be the super nice wands you want to look at which you will accidentally equip :/

Nude titan skelimancer

[pharphis]

Please, please don't ever talk to me again.
:(

[Cyrax]

I did think about letting him wear a belt for potions, but decided against it - although if he can't make it, I might try again with belt. I think broken belts still work for that purpose, but I'm not sure whether you have to be wearing them when they break or whether it's possible to equip a broken belt. I guess I'll have to test that with another character (unless someone knows offhand) just for curiosity's sake.

Broken belts still hold potions, so it is usable for that purpose. I think you have to equip them before they break, but i'm not sure on that.

[endlesscircuit]

I actually just started one of these a couple days ago. I'm SC though. (decided it would be a fun way to level up a necro that will end up using my new Darkforce Spawn in the pit...at least until I get bored.) Just rescued Cain; level 15 since I've been trying complete clears.

[Drystan]

As I encouraged this, I'll follow as well.

FiletOFish wished he knew how to curse.

Nice! Love this type of detail. Also, love the in-game quotes. I try to throw them in some of my Guardian threads as well. It's just small details like these references that bring it to life.

I have to point out that my necro only had two spare spots, and wasn't exactly close to naked. His equipment wasn't great, but by no means resembled a naked char. A good way to keep items unequipped if you start early is to pick up 'cracked'/'ethereal' items. These have low durability, and the early monsters don't' do real damage, so you can break them easily. Ethereal is better, as an accidental "Repair All' won't do anything.
Broken belts also give you extra rows of potions still.

Best of luck with Fish, and keep the updates coming!

[Cyrax]

Let's have a - a whole colony of hardcore undead-raising nudists!

So this is turning into a nudist colony? Never thought i'd be into that kinda stuff, but i like it! (Only on D2 forums though)


BloteBert is an evilfighting necromancer. Because of this he got really paranoia about someone backstabbing him. That is why he refused to come too close to anybody with clothes, as they might have some weapon hidden within. To show people he came in peace, he decided to lead by example and went everywhere in his birthsuite.

An added bonus of his choice became clear when he went out into the wilderness to save those whimpy amazons. Monsters were so surprised at his sight that they did not even fight back. He easily knocked the light out of their undead eyes. As the journey took him further and further away from civilization he realised evil was too strong to take on all by himself. Since most people were uncomfortable to even go after the prime evils, let alone without anything to cover them up, he decided that he'd be most comfortable amongst the evil he just had slain as they had no clothes to hide any weapons. Thus he summoned more and more undead to aid him on his path.

After taking out some rogue that kept running away, the amazon camp rejoiced. One of them even volunteered to help him with his cause. This presented him with a problem. He could certainly use the help, but the amazon flat-out refused to take off her clothes. He was about to turn down her offer. She really wanted to help him vanquish evil as it would keep her sisters safe for the foreseeable future. Thus she tried one last thing to convince him to take her along.
As BloteBert didn't wear anything he did have some trouble taking along the gold he got from turning in items he didn't need to the vendors. So she asked him how he would take his money with him as the small amount he had now was already posing some trouble. Hmm, this would be a problem as he was sure his goldpile would increase. With only two hands to carry it he would have to leave some behind soon. Not to mention it would be difficult to direct his army that way. As she seemed really grateful for saving the encampment, he decided she could come along provided she kept her distance. From now on he kept one eye open, even during the dark hours of the night.

After slaying many a monster the fellowship reached the dark parts of the catacombs. There a hellish woman attacked them. Though woman may not be the best way to describe her. A fury she was. Spraying poison everywhere. BloteBert saw his beloved skeletons go down. One after the other. Luckily there were many bodies. Still, he had a hard time keeping up with summoning as his army quickly went down. Just as he was thinking of retreating into a room he passed earlier, the evil woman went down in flames.

Thus ended the first act.

So far no trouble and resists are a solic zero across the board.

[TrubbaNot]

A little late on my update ... sorry that some bits may seem a little rushed...

Not even a minute after venturing out of the stockade, Fil got into a fistfight with a gang of little red dudes who were screeching about a rockin' Eat Shoe concert or something.

'That's what I need,' he thought. 'A gang of my own.'

A gang of zombies thought they could eat his face, but he punched their lights out.

*Ding!* And just like that, he raised up a skeleton.

"Dang!" he said aloud. "I meant to learn how to curse before I did anything else."

But it wasn't long before he learned that, too. That really amped things up. Soon he was able to raise a few more skeletons.

They followed a winding path past a cave. The path led to an opening in the stone wall where a lone sentry stood firing arrows.

"Halt!" she said, plinking away at one of the little red gang members. "You should complete Akara's quest before venturing further into the wilderness!"

"Akara? Who's Akara? What quest?" asked Fil?

"Halt!" she said again.

"Rockin' issue!" said the little red dude. Fil wondered where he could find a newspaper stand in this forsaken wilderness. The lady shot her 15th arrow and the red kid hit the floor before he could ask.

"Turn back!" said the sentry.

"I see how effective those arrows are... I can defeat those guys faster with my fists. I guess I'll just keep going," Fil said. "Follow me!"

"I can see you need more experience before you venture further -" the sentry began.

"Time to die!" Fil replied cheerfully, and trotted further along the path. Soon he came to an arcane symbol scratched into the dust, which lit up when he trod on it. His only available choice was to return to the Rogue's camp, so he decided to go find Akara & learn about this quest business.

Into the cave, then off to explore - found a cemetery haunted by a beautiful but skittish fellow Necromancer. Sadly, his skeleton army killed her before he could ask her out on a date. But when he went back to camp, he was greeted with great joy & the lovely Amplisa refused to leave his side. So he gave her a pretty silver helmet he had found, along with two chipped topazes he had picked up - and she was his for life, until death doth part and so on.

The army grew, and grew stronger - he just stood back and sorted through the pockets of the slain, mostly - cursing all the while. After being chased by the 3 Bears in a Dark Wood, he found a note. Akara told him to run around Stonehenge in some arcane pattern at the dark of the new moon or something, and there was a bit of an electrical storm when they got there. Members of that little red gang had painted themselves blue and started shouting about Raw Kannashu or something, but then they all died before he could get a good look at the scene. So he and Amplisa played statue tag around the stones until a portal opened. Of course they all went to explore.

"Help, Help!" came a quavering cry. Some old guy was being kept in a cage! Surrounded by his skeleton army, FiletOFish ran to let him out. Then the old man opened a portal and rudely closed it in Fil's face. They took the long way back, and while his army was busy herding goats, Fil stood around sanguinely, reading a book about a bloodbath.

Akara tried to get engaged to him but he wouldn't wear her ring.

"This is for you!" he said to Amplisa.

"I can't use that..." she replied sadly.

Fil stuck it in an old trunk to send off to the homeland, along with some other stuff he'd found on his travels. Charms he couldn't carry around since he was too hot to wear pockets, and various other hardcore items he thought might be useful to someone. Mostly he just sold things to get gold to buy presents for Amplisa.

After a brief rest, to get his mind off the love-triangle, FiletOFish took Amplisa and the gang to find the ruined castle he'd read about. Instead of rising toward the sky, the tower had sunk deep into the ground - presumably due to the weight of all the gold stashed within. Down and down they went, until they finally reached the first floor.

"Players1," he said.

The Countess dropped Eld and Tal. Then a chest spewed out a bunch of gold. When he got back to town, Kashya, Deckard Cain, and the annoying dude all started following him around excitedly. "Good evening!" "Greetings!" "Good to see you!"

"Amazing how popular I've become suddenly..." he said. He glared at everyone, stashed the runes, and left the camp without talking to any of them. He and his gang ran quickly along a path untiil they saw a monastery.

"This place has the stench of demons about it," Fil said, entering the Outer Cloister. When he found the waypoint symbol scratched into the mud of the courtyard, he decided it was time for a break.

To be continued...

FiletOFish, a.k.a. "Fil" -
L15
Vitality 75
10 points unspent (in case he wants to invest in mana)
Skills - standard fishy progression (although he has already gotten his Gumby which might be a little earlier than usual)
Still completely nekkid, never found a cracked sash or anything similar.
Not a complete full-clear, although he'll probably go back to explore the underground spots he hasn't yet checked out before he leaves this area.
At the Outer Cloister Waypoint

Awesome that we've got a Nudist Colony going now! Please keep us posted, endlesscircuit! Great update, Cyrax! Good luck to everyone!

[djmbbandie]

Was the ring akara proposed in marriage really bad too?

I never thought of Treehead Woodfist as part of the three bears. I look forward to the next update.

[Drystan]

Great update, Trubba, and love the references you throw in there. Please, keep them coming!

'"Players1," he said.' --- XD

Best of luck with Blote, Cyrax!