i would hate to get on smegs bad side
As long as you don't live anywhere near him....Originally Posted by ffejrxx
At least until his psychosis reaches the next level.:hide:
I have a confession to make. One evening in 1998 I decided to make pancakes for dinner. I opened the fridge and took out the eggs to find they had passed the use-by date. Because it was the day after the garbage was picked up, and I didn't want rapidly rotting eggs in my bin, I just put them back in the fridge... and forgot about them.
Fast forward to December 1999. I was moving to a new flat and had some friends helping me. As is usual the fridge was the last thing to be packed and as it turned out one of my friends did it (and even repacked it at the other end). A few days after this I decided to fry up some eggs and bacon for lunch. The stench was vile, especially since it was summer. But, again, I didn't throw them in the bin because I knew it would be worse so I put them back in the fridge... but this time I didn't forget about them. This time I had a plan.
While waiting for the perfect opportunity I became rather... obsessed with the idea and started keeping more eggs past their use-by date, at one point I actually had two dozen. The vast majority of these, however, were thrown randomly by myself or friends at unsuspecting cars and shoppers.
The plan finally came to fruition with a volley of five eggs thrown at a certain person's car (at least two penetrated the windows and splashed on the back seat) in January 2002. When I started collecting "new" eggs, I marked the original batch with the use-by date on the container and it was these that were used in the assault. The victim shall remain nameless because, to my knowledge they do not know to this day, that it was me; I have it on good authority, however, that the stench remained even after a thorough cleaning, some three weeks later.
This left me with two foul stench grenades which duly found their way into the meeting hall of the Anglican Church across the road two weeks later. I moved out in February, and never heard anything about it, but considered it just recompense for all the kumbaya-type singing I had to put up with during my time there.
EDIT: This wasn't me, but Dondrei will probably appreciate it. Given that Christmas falls during summer in Australia we tend to have seafood for Christmas lunch, particularly prawns. Centrelink is the central stop for all welfare programs from unemployment to the pension. One Christmas, while living at the address referred to above, someone put a bag of prawns in just the right place so that it received maximum sun exposure while still allowing the smell to filter into Centrelink. I walked past the bag and saw it straight away (smelt it from about 100 metres away... ), so how it managed to stay there for over two weeks is beyond me. I can't imagine what it smelled like inside when they came back from Christmas holidays.
Hmmm, throwing projectiles at passing cars. Yeah, that doesn't sound like a possibly reckless act....
im sure he'd find a way to get it to my mailbox
I'm glad Smeg doesn't know that potatoes soaked in water for a week or so smell worse than rotten eggs after the water is removed.
Smuggle it onto a plane!
Indeed.
We had some potatoes in a cupboard that we forgot about when we left on vacation. When we came back, even though the sludge that was left in the bag had not leaked out, the stench was so bad that I almost gagged and the cupboard never lost the smell.
=/
In a land where people actually purchase and open cans of surstromming, these things are standard issue. You get them when you graduate from elementary school.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surstromming
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