Latest Diablo 3 News
DiabloWiki Updates
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 29
  1. #1
    Banned Johnny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Down Louisiana close to New Orleans
    Posts
    9,113

    WMD discovered in Johnnys living room. help me find a suitable target.

    So I was doing a serious clean-up of my apartment and under a pile of old toys I found a perfectly sealed. 3 year old plastic can of surstromming (sour herring) Waaaaaay past its overdue date.

    My friend noticed it and he said it couldnt possibly contain sour herring as we would have smelled it before. I decided we needed to investigate so we took the can out to the balcony where I started opening it. As I started opening it. The seal just broke slightly and in an instant my balcony was turned inhospitable. We ran back into the apartment in a panic. After straping on a gas mask I managed to get back out on the balcony and seal the can using a glue gun and it no longer smells.

    But that raises a more important issue. What to do with a 3 year old can of sour herring. The possibilities are endless. Who to throw it at. Whos car to compleatly destroy. Whos mailbox to poor it down. Drop it on. Launch it towards. Makes me wish I had a whole apartment full of sour herring.... but then again mayby not. What on earth should I do with this little jewel?


    Sell it on ebay?





  2. #2
    IncGamers Member §Hex Vex§'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    1,135
    I'd go with Ebay




  3. #3
    IncGamers Member Ash Housewares's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Surrounded by Primitive Screwheads
    Posts
    21,990
    if it's no longer mint, might as well use it




  4. #4
    Banned Johnny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Down Louisiana close to New Orleans
    Posts
    9,113
    Well I dont think it was mint to begin with either. Someone must have opened it at some point earlier.




  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Toilet bowl brush
    Posts
    4,128
    I'd say break it up into several smaller 'stinkproof' containers, so you can spread the joy out. I don't know how warm it gets in Swedenland in the summer, but I'd say save it for then.




  6. #6
    IncGamers Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,091
    I love the fact that you just happened to have a gas mask and a glue gun lying around ^_^




  7. #7
    Banned Bortaz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Por la frontera con México.
    Posts
    11,496
    If you don't save it till summer, and secretly place it under the seat of someone's car, you need to turn in your Man Club membership.




  8. #8
    Banned Johnny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Down Louisiana close to New Orleans
    Posts
    9,113
    Yes I did consider summer. The problem is that all people I want to use it against have car alarms. I would love to throw the whole content inside thier car then let it soak a whole summer day but it just doesnt have the same feeling if I just smash the window then throw it inside and run for my escape car before the owner comes running.




  9. #9
    IncGamers Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,091
    That's what the inside of the wheel arches are -for-.




  10. #10
    Banned Sir EvilFreeSmeg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    In Anakalaha's sock drawer
    Posts
    15,435
    It a bit complicated but this is what you do.

    Find yourself that truely deserves this. I like self-rightous religious leaders who beg for money constantly.

    Break into the mark's vehicle. Securely fasten the vessle to the underside of a rear seat. Rig some strong fishing line to the lid. Attach line to car door when door is barely opened. Door opens, lid is removed, instant funk that can't be easily found...

    An alternative to this is hold onto the can until summer. Wait until your mark parks his car in the sun and leaves his window cracked. While wearing your mask, dump the contents of the can into a sandwich bag. Seal the bag. Remove a corner of the bag. As you walk up to his vehicle, slip the opened end of the bag in and give it a good squirt. Done correctly the whole attack is made in one smooth motion without breaking stride. Instant funk that'll have time to bake.

    Expand on this idea if you want. Mix the contents with some worms, get a dozen or so guys to piss in a bucket, mix the whole thing together. Seal the bucket, let it sit for months in the sun. In about 4-6 months it'll be the most horrific thing you'll ever encounter. Wear full protective gear when you remove the goo. Place goo in vessles for distrubution. Distribute as you see fit. I suggest glass jars. Easily transported and shatter easily when properly deployed.

    In other words, have fun :laugh:




Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •