Several years ago, I worked at this Italian place. During the last year I was there, this incident known as "Peanut Butter Booty" happened. I told this to a co-worker last Friday and we were both rolling on the ground so be thankful I am typing this instead of talking. It would be so hard for me because I would be laughing the entire time.
Anyways. . . It was a Sunday afternoon during the Sunday church crowd. There were two people working the line that day, one grill cook by the name of Ebony and the chef working the sauteť line, Mike*. If this was not Mike's last day working there, then it was one of his few shifts to work there ever. Ebony was this loud, big, Southern woman. And by big I mean she had the biggest ghetto booty I have ever seen in my life. If this song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rq3hyX99nbg&feature=fvst) is talking about the woman on the cover, Ebony makes this woman look tiny! So with her big body, she had a big voice and persona to match!
So it's Sunday, the lunch rush wasn't too much of a rush and all was winding down after an hour or an hour and a half. I'm at the front talking to the cashier when the Head Waitress/Floor Manager comes up to cash in a ticket. She's talking about how Ebony is causing ruckus in the back and mentioned something about, "She's saying Chef Mike has peanut butter booty and she's bringing people to go look at it."
So I'm like, "Look at what? What's peanut butter booty?"
Both women are laughing and Ms. Manager is like, "Go ask her. Go ask Ebony right now."
So, of course, me having a curiosity like no other, I go to the back. I think Ebony is doing her work when I come up to her and was like, "Ms. Manager told me to come to you and ask what peanut butter booty is."
This sets the woman off... again, apparently, after she had calmed down a few minutes before I walked into the kitchen. (If she wasn't doing work, then she was kinda talking to herself and going off or something... memory is kinda foggy here)
"OHMYGOD, LEO! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT! IT'S NASTY! SOMEONE IS NASTY AND WALKING WITH PEANUT BUTTER BOOTY AND I THINK IT'S CHEF MIKE!"
"What is that? What happened?"
"Okay, so y'all know how we have the employee bathroom right here, right? Well, I go in there to use it and someone took a major **** in there! The bowl was all nasty, there was **** on the handle, **** above the toilet seat on the tank, there was **** on the wall! HOW IN DA HELL DO YOU GET **** ON A WALL?! And there was no toilet paper in there! That's nasty! Someone is walking around with ****ty drawers, all rubbing together! That's Peanut Butter Booty! They got peanut butter all up in their booty! And I saw chef Mike being the last one in there because he ate a chicken fried steak and I saw him go into the bathroom! So he goes and takes a dump, leaves it for tha damn world to see and doesn't wipe!" She started walking away for something, saying, "This place don't pay me enough to clean up that mess! For now, that bathroom is off limits! That's nasty!" (not verbatim, but it was pretty much like that)
She made it out to be so bad that she brought other servers (and whoever else) to go observe the bathroom mess. I did not see it and, according to one server, I was "very lucky." And then shortly afterwards, got a hold of yellow caution tape. She covered that door in the yellow tape, like it wasn't a white door anymore. It was a caution tape door! That's how much she used!
TL;DR version: I worked with a woman named Ebony who claimed that Chef Mike was the last one to use the employee bathroom, took a major **** so bad it got on the toilet tank and walls and there was no toilet paper anywhere in the bathroom so she went around the restaurant saying Mike had a booty full of peanut butter.
* = name has been changed
EDIT: I love how, for right now, my signature is "I have the runs for you too, sweetie!" perfect!
I have one that actually did happen to me. I'll write it in the next post.