Leather is always goodOriginally Posted by Drosselmeier
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I thought you had finally stopped the third person.....
Adrian.
Well, maybe we better not drive off the slightly more sensible liberals. How about we give him a hot Iranian chick instead?
Just a side note but when we met I was fairly certain you were ***. Not sure why but that was the feeling I got.
Because I was sort of flirting with your cousin perhaps? I even got his number. :laugh:Just a side note but when we met I was fairly certain you were ***. Not sure why but that was the feeling I got.
Totally derailing the thread and addressing you for a moment, this phrase really stuck out. There are a lot of reasons you have no sex drive, including your depression. Being clinically depressed can mean you don't take joy in anything, with sex in that category. Plus, the same neurotransmitters that are involved with arousal are deficient in depression (I'm thinking dopamine and serotonin here). I wonder if getting your depression under control would help your sex drive. Zoloft, btw, is notorious for making "the big o" almost impossible. Wellbutrin and other atypicals are good at maintaining them.
It is also really hard to feel sexy and be arousedwhen you're worried and stressed. Your mind kind of drifts to whatever is bothering you and ruins the moment. Plus, if you're anything like me, you're worrying as much about your partner's pleasure as you are your own, which can be distracting.
You're not alone in this. I have read that many women who have children fall in love with them in a way that somewhat precludes their being able to fall in love/stay in love with their partners. There are many good books written on the topic and I confess it is an area that I have zero knowledge in.Maybe it stems from the fact that I am a mom first. I could care less if I had the most handsome/lovely person in the world..I am a mom.
Pure sexual incompatability is a huge issue. I don't know how many lovers you've had in your life, but I am rhetorically curious about which felt better versus were useless. It is possible you had a lot of lousy lovers. It is possible that they were focusing on the wrong parts of your anatomy, the comparison of which would turn this paragraph into Starry Starry Night. So I suppose I should ask you whether you can have that special moment when alone and using whatever aids you need, and whether that can be taught to your lover.Or maybe I haven't met a man who needs to be whipped into submission.
There are lots of boys who adore FemDom...you just need to look.
99.9999% of men either don't try or have no idea what they're doing (I'm in the latter category). It's not malicious, it's just that men naturally come in two flavours: thoughtless and hopeless.
Seriously though, it's inconclusive. I know that a lot of women feel that way and find out later in life that they're *** (much to their astonishment), but then again there are plenty who feel the exact same way and either haven't met the right guy (if said mythical creature really exists) or genuinely aren't that interested in sex (very few are in this last category, I think).
But Anyee's right, depression destroys your sex drive.
*puts his hand up*
Right...that could be it. :P
Or maybe it was because you weren't flirting with me.
Anyway, I have to agree with what has been said. Attraction to another human being isn't based on gender. I'm attracted to my female friends otherwise they would not be my friends, some kind of attraction is what makes people interesting. Where that attraction turns into sexual attraction and what defines the border inbetween I don't know. We are all bi to a certain extent though, I believe.
I agree. It's usually pretty easy to differentiate friendship and other forms of love, but there is no clear line that I know of other than the sexual attraction. I can miss my friends and long for them the same way as for a lover. The sexual attraction usually isn't there though.Right...that could be it. :P
Or maybe it was because you weren't flirting with me.
Anyway, I have to agree with what has been said. Attraction to another human being isn't based on gender. I'm attracted to my female friends otherwise they would not be my friends, some kind of attraction is what makes people interesting. Where that attraction turns into sexual attraction and what defines the border inbetween I don't know. We are all bi to a certain extent though, I believe.
Two funny asides that I came to think about...
The only teacher I've ever had a crush on was male. This was in high school so it's probably something most have experienced. I sort of have a thing for older men, as in fourty-fifty something intellectuals. I'm aware of the issues that implies so there's no need for lectures here. The crush was never that serious and only lasted about a month. After that I realized he wasn't self-confident but a pompous jackass.
The other thing I was thinking about is really ironic. I suspect my parents have discussed this and come to the conclusion that I might be ***. I don't know how they would know, but I have to admit that I do conform to some *** stereotypes (interest in the theater and opera, poetry, furniture and drapes et cetera). Also, my sister's known about some of these things for many years and she might have said something. It's a pity I don't feel comfortable talking to my sister about this. She's freaked out by the whole thing and now that I suspect she might have blabbed to the parents I'm not going to take any chances. The good news is that my parents might actually have come to terms with this before I've confessed to anything. My father printed out a letter to the editor mocking religious homophobia and showed me when I was there this christmas. He's a big enemy of organized religion but I still have to wonder about his motives for doing that. It would be really comical if my parents think I'm *** and I'm completely uncertain about everything.
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