your life anymore merry/happy than last we heard?Originally Posted by DOC
Not trying to steer the thread a different direction, but yes and no. In fact if I don't pass out in the next 10 minutes or so ill post an update.Originally Posted by Ash Housewares
I blame meOriginally Posted by DOC
Originally Posted by DOC
Took me a while to figure out what was going on. First I though Smeg was angry at me. When I tried to log in I typed the password wrong, and for a second I thought I'd been banned again. I just woke up and I'm still all dizzy. That's my excuse.
Whoever tried to troll me failed miserably. I slept through the whole thing. Timezones.
You're worried about being slammed and trashed for being ***. And also about the whole discrimination that goes with being *** too. I think you can take heart in the fact that being *** is becoming more and more accepted. Sure, you're going to have the few bigot around who will call you names but you know what? Regular racism is alive and well today - and it's being squashed out slowly. Same thing with the gayism(?). Brokeback Mountain has also been completely accepted by the general public, despite stupid critics who lambasted it without giving it a chance, bless their biased hearts. Look at shows like Entertainment Tonight - the so-called "most watched" entertainment show...they have their token *** fashion expert dude.
OK I will have to admit that even this *** guy falls under the "safe" *** man stereotype...the effeminate girly-man who loves clothes, fashion, and fawns over women's dresses. But from reading what you wrote there, you don't sound like that type, nor do you sound like the by-and-large culturally accepted *** hairdresser, who dresses...well...like the expected *** man-style of dressing with the feminine walk and the distinctive ***-man accent in their voice.
Don't worry too much about coming out of the closet. You are who you are right? Acceptance is the key. Nay, if I were you, I would completely embrace and abuse the coming out of the closet. I bet you dollars to donuts it's gonna become the new cool thing to do. And I would also do this. Throw a party with like-minded individuals and have the whole announcer thing going, literally come out of the closet with streamers flying, people cheering, the song "I'm Real" blasting, people in tears of joy hugging each other, honking of the party horns.....
...you get the picture right. You know what your problem is? You're too smart for your own good. You're way over-analyzing yourself. Sometimes smart guys have to purposely dumb themselves down in order to quit the over-analyzing, and just be shallow and happy and scream "OMG" like a stereotypical blonde joke from every stereotypically produced hollywood film.
I'm not at all worried about being discriminated against or rejected and disowned. It will be all kinds of awkward though. I have never talked about sex with my parents other than one time when they told me to use condoms if I was having sex. I almost panic just thinking about talking about sex with my folks.Originally Posted by D.K.night
My friends are very tolerant even by Swedish standards. I will have no problems with any of them.
The problem is, I don't want to come out and have to retract it later. I'd feel like a kid going through some phase trying to find himself. Even though that might actually be the case I wouldn't want anyone to think that way about me. I'd rather wait until I'm sure. Preferably until I'm in a relationship.
Then there's the "making mommy cry" thing. I don't want to put them through this if I don't have to. They would be able to deal with it no doubt, but I also know that they would prefer a straight son that delivers grandchildren.
It's complex even in an understanding and supportive enviroment.
EDIT: I'm not afraid of discovering I'm ***. In fact, I'd be quite happy if I could say that I was certain that's what I am. The problem is that everything seems to vague and confusing. I can't seem to sort things out. All I know is that I've never been completely happy with a girl, not even a really great girl, and that the most intense love I've felt was for a guy. It makes sense to assume that I'm hiding something from myself or repressing something, but it just seems so incredible to me that I would do something like that. It's almost like I'm cursed. The only thing I really want is certainty, and that's the only thing I can't seem to get.
I've got a pretty heavy class tomorrow and I'm tied up playing cards and drinking beer with the guys on thursday, but I've resolved to find some sort of activity as soon after that as possible. Friday or saturday in other words. I live in a town that's also home to a large university so there has to be something out there for me. Time to stop the whining and actually do something to figure this out.
Thanks for the support and advice people.
I am interested in this subject.
Make sure you keep us update, though I suppose you should leave out some details.
I don't care about any of your personal stuff, I just hope it works out all right for you, Dross.
I came to respect you years ago just because of how you posted in these forums. I do remember you bringing this up a long time ago, and it didn't matter to me then, either. If you lived nearby, you'd probably be my friend.
Good luck to you. I hope you straighten it all out. That was not a play on the word 'straight'.