He is a woman, someone told me in another thread.
I had a beard once, but I looked too much like Abraham Lincoln.
My beard never got food in it, but I did have a problem with beard hairs falling into my food. It got pretty bad after a while. The only good news there is that they are bright red, so I can easily spot them.
Now the moustache is a different matter entirely. It is very hard to eat with a bushy moustache, especially soup or huge cones of ice cream.
When the beard reached gratuitous length it began disposing of the weaker links in the beard chain itself. Usually all up in my salad or oatmeal or whatever. Bad business. I certainly don't miss that.
They get a mind of their own, and if that happens it is all over.
A little birdy told him.
That was actually a serious question. I'm not sure where this damn rumour is coming from.