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Final Friday Freak Fest For 2004
Posted early since I'm watching BSU play in the Liberty Bowl tomorrow
Pot
Dispenser
Sign
Dare
Smack
hot bikini action
Santa's in trouble now
Holiday police lineup
bad neighbor
cooking
I want his health plan
part 1 and part 2 - a fark masterpiece
The PUPPY OF TERROR!!! - now we know, and knowing is half the battle
New toilet cleaning kit
Rock on devil child!
Tap
Theory vs. reality
insanity
Hood
LotR
tattoo WTF?
zhippo.com/badtattoosHOSTED/images/gallery/ACF9ED2.jpg (Not directly linked for usual reaons) Another bad tattoo
Geek Christmas tree
Jesus's tomb in Japan Yeah. And I'm Yoda's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roomate.
Nerf
Garage
Vote In bad taste, literally :lol:
A bit tight
Hardcore fishing
Speedo
I'm driving instead
Recycling at it's best
Good dog
At least she had training wheels
Driving while toasted = bad
Golden shower It's SFW.
Who's the smart ones?
Giddyup!
Foxy
Bus Anybody want to be "special" for a day?
Hole Right down the street from the bean plant.
They refused to do it
Improper offroading
Tempting offer
Budget cuts? Nah
Truth in advertising
Get well soon
Car
Rabbit strike
Dog can't win
Go amongst the sinners
Parking and I thought the mall was bad here...
Who's going to write this parking ticket?
Innuendo?
Overcompensation
Janet's hotness got to them
If you look closely, there are words on the picture
What an OTF party might look like
KKK Tabernacle Choir I'd like to upgrade my ticket to hell to First Class
Redneck Plaza
Santa
Wakey wakey
Visions of grandeur
Theme: Rejected military equipment
NVG
Additional bang
Mobile Canuckistanian artillery Couldn't resist
big bombs Why was this rejected???
Motorized infantry
Minigun
Can-'o-whoop-arse
One ticket to hell please
Holy Hand Gernade WHY???
Counter to the Puppy of Terror
Phlanx
Buffallo
1st generation Puppy of Terror
Weapon pod
Theme: Usama Bin Laden - recording star! (a comedy tour de force into the lowlands of Badtastestan)
Death to the USA
Destroyer
Front cover Back cover
UBL and His Magic Accordian
Pyromania
Yo! Osama Raps
Yes, I'd like a one-way ticket to hell please. No, I won't be taking any luggage.
Theme: Michael Moron. Warning: Content not suitable for P.E.S.T. victims
A Michael sized hunt
Metric
fap fap fap Think of the kittens... :(
Carnage
9-11 movie revisited
Duck Silly duck
Oh the HORROR!!! I give it 5 gouged out eyes
End
News stories:
Beer makes you psychic!
LOCAL PUB-- Albert Shaw has never been a big believer in the paranormal. But since he lost his job and started drinking more, Albert thinks that beer is giving him visions, and perhaps a link with a supernatural force.
"I never listened to any of that cosmic bunk before," said Albert from his chair at Rosy's Pub. "I would laugh at most of the psychic crap I saw on television: Miss Cleo, John Edwards, Friends. However, I used to be a huge Bill Bixby fan."
"But, it was when I lost my job painting parking spaces--apparently I was painting them criss-cross," continued Albert, "and began to drink heavily that I started to notice these distorted perceptions, subtle at first, visions perhaps of the future, like ESP. The more I began to drink, beer mostly, the more I could 'see'."
Albert hasn't yet been able to interpret the messages he's been receiving during his barley-based episodes. It may be that his senses aren't completely "tuned in" to the "other side." Albert is also having some difficulty remembering the visions the following day, complaining of psychic headaches as a result.
"I can't really say what they mean yet," said Albert. "I get close to comprehending a message, but then the vision alters, and it feels like that gateway to another plain is shifting--like a room spinning. I think I may have envisioned the Sports Illustrated models alone with me on a desert island, but it's still very clouded."
Albert has noticed that some of his own memories have faded since he started drinking heavily, probably due to the emergence of his psychic gift. He also claims that the mental energy he is expending to comprehend the messages is making him lethargic, sometimes preventing him from getting out of bed until noon.
"I realize that there may be some sacrifices," said Albert. "But weren't these same obstacles faced by Confucius, Nostradamus, and Jane Dixon?"
Albert's friend Lou has been transcribing some of his psychic episodes. During the beer-induced visions, Albert tries to describe the fuzzy predictions and skewed images, all the while drinking more beer to enhance them.
"Most of what Albert is saying is slurred--like he's channeling--and the more he drinks the more he slurs," said Lou. "It's likely that he hasn't yet gained the voice to translate these transcendental messages properly. I did notice that the visions are also making him emotionally vulnerable--Albert mentioned that he 'loved me' and that I was 'his best friend in the whole fricking world' during our last session. These psychic communications are still too strong for him."
Despite the difficulties, Albert is continuing to take the visions seriously, and he is putting his career and life on hold while he focuses on the phenomenon of beer-induced psychic hallucinations.
"I must be diligent in my quest for understanding," stated Albert. "If it takes one case of beer, or ten cases, I will find the answers I seek!"
Source
LAST WORDS:
The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with US automakers for the past five years, whereby the automakers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 42 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, ****!"
Only the states of Oklahoma, Tennessee, Mississippi, Arkansas, Louisiana, Georgia, Alabama and Texas were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were, "Hold my beer and watch this!"
I'm Freemason and I approved this freakfest.
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