I watch a good flick or series, but rarely TV. I do watch the situation in the middle east these days... (cartoons and Denmark and such) so watch quite some news.
AM: what about that piccie? If you don't post it we'll just believe that your gf is a gorilla
I wouldn't know what to do with the weather you people have!
Some people go skiing, but to do that you need mountains. Here in DK everything is flat and the tallest hill is ~170 meters. lol! Atm we have snow, rain, cold, grey, crap weather. Great weather for indoor activities... :wink3:
Believe it or not, here there's A LOT of people that LOVE to watch TV (mostly soap operas) and sit there ALL day! Ugh
I love the salty smell from the beach, eating a good fish and having some hours swimming, or camping in the beach or mountains while playing the guitar and try to fix where everyone will be sleeping, or going to the lagoon and trying to swim from side to side................ I think I'm going to do that with my GF next weekend!
Ease up, boy, you're really starting to worry me.... more.
As I've said before, lose yourself in something and someone else. When I say someone else, I don't mean in a romantic way. You;ve got friends, and I'm sure they've got problems they could use help with. Or find a new hobby, or a new sport, or a new mod for everyone's favourite point and click fantasy action rpg. ( I reccomend Median, but to my understanding of the rules, I'm not sure if I can point you to it.) Somethin to occupy your time.
Yeah, you'll still think about her, and play through the situations that could have been, and they'll still hurt (I've been there before, remember?), but if you do other stuff, it'll help take the edge off things.
Ease up... I slept ~3 hours tonight. Nothing seems to make sense, I am unmotivated as hell and just live without an aim. I am not really realizing what I am doing anymore... There's nothing to be happy about. It sucks so much to see her at school... And I tell you now that I don't want to see her because that's only painful I will see her more often than ever...
But that isn't everything. This **** just showed me that I don't have a low self-confidence! I HAVE NO DAMN SELF-CONFIDENCE AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And no-one seems to like me, but that's probably because I don't like myself either... anymore... I hate this, this "un-self-confidence" rules my entire life and there's nothing I can do about it. Nobody takes me serious, I'm just the guy that everyone laughs about, if not only in a mean way. I always took it easy, made fun of them and myself and therefore gained a reputation of the "freak", the funny one.... But I'm so sick of it, I can't talk to people, everyone makes silly jokes of me and while I just joked with them most of the time until now, I can't stand it anymore... I don't really accept myself... it's so stupid. I can't stand for what I like...
And... my family is no real family, my mother is too worried about my future (although that might be a good thing, but I have no idea what I want to do in my future, there's nothing to built upon), my father doesn't love me, he's just interested in himself and his damn wood (heating). If I don't help him whenever he wants me to, he cuts my pocket money half or tries to steal me things I like like my PC.... My grandma always complains about unimportant **** and no single good word comes out of her mouth... My grandaunt has Alzheimer and it's very strenuous to live with her... My first sister acts like a little child by freaking out over every crap and my second sister is almost never at home anyway and when she is, she just feels like dominating everyone with her stupid rules because she's obviously much wiser than anybody. My third and fourth sister are ok, but I have almost nothing to do anymore with the married one and the other one is probably the only ok person of our family, but she sometimes tends to freak out unnecessarily, too. That said, no-one of our family really likes another family member and everyone just lives for his own. We can't be like a normal family as much as we try to...
Then there was the thing about what I want to do in my future... I have no damn clue about it. A few years ago I still enjoyed drawing/painting, but the fun decreased with the time. I always wanted to get a designer or something like that, but how should I become a successful designer if I don't have fun drawing anymore. And when I was active in some internet forums I saw that while being "talented" I am not nearly as good as some other people of my age. Because if you want to be good you have to dedicate too large parts of your damn life to it and I'm too lazy to do this... A few years back I was also good in the language subjects at school, so the opportunity to become a translator was there. But nowadays I am too unmotivated and lazy to get good marks...
But altogether it are the small things annoying me most... Today at school I just realized my stupid character again: Actually I don't have any positive character traits. My character consists of being SHY, TIMID, CALM, INTOVERTED, FOOLISH, IDIOTIC!!! When talking to someone... I can't just answer his questions. When he asks something I nervously think about the best answer and give it... instead of saying what I really want to or... else. I have no idea. I have no idea about life. For example... I couldn't take part in today's P.E. lesson because I forgot my sports bag. Just that I can't ****ing remember when I have to bring the sports bag and when not is stupid enough... but then... when I sat there listening to music while watching the others playing ball games and stuff a schoolmate asked me to what music I would be listening. He knows that I listen to Megade(a)th and therefore made some silly air guitar movements and made a fool of me. But I can understand them because they aren't into metal at all and if a band has DEATH in their name it must be uber funny... I have no problem with that and until now I just joked with them... when he made those movements I laughed friendly and didn't miff it... but when he asked to what music I would be listening to instead of Megadeth, I didn't say Behemoth (to who I was listening at that time)... I said "something else" and looked away shyly and BLAAAAAAAA... Why the hell didn't I just say "I am listening to Behemoth!"??? He'd have said "muaahah BEHEMOTH HAHAHA OLO *air guitar* *air scream* *air drums*", but so what? He doesn't have to like it, but I DO, so why can't I just stand for what I like?
Or... when entering the Ocafé... nadine was there and... ****. I just... sat there... I can't even look at her anymore... it's so ****ty, I will always feel like a total wimp who did everything wrong...
Reborn, may I ask… how old are you? After reading most of your posts here I thought it was just about this girl. Now it looks more like you're in one of those nasty teenage depressions and that's nothing to be trifled with. If you don't shape up in a pair of weeks or something I think you should (and I'm very serious when I write this) talk to someone about it, in RL I mean.
I don't know about Germany but in Sweden there're places where young people can seek help when they get in situations like yours. I think you should do that if you can't talk to any of your parents or any other close (adult) relative.