Lanceor
02-09-2007, 09:17
I don't normally do any creative writing, but after being frustrated to no end by the moron, I wrote this for fun. I present to you...
Waheed's Diary
8:23 am
Having trained since kindergarten at Greiz's Combat Academy, I was looking forward to my first job as a mercenary to one of the heroes that were going to kick some Prime Evil butt. I was delighted to be hired by this cool dudette called xXxSexySosoxXx.
8:55 am
Our first combat in the desert. Watching my new boss call down fire from the sky and chuck frozen shards of ice, I was awed by her powers. Respectfully, I chose not to use my aura so that she could prove her skillz unassisted. I heard some screams; suddenly the world blacked out momentarily and I was back in Lut Gholein right next to Greiz. Not only were xXxSexySosoxXx's combat skillz totally wicked, this dudette has this trippy ability to teleport large distances. She also seems to level up whenever she uses this teleport skill.
11:12 am
My boss gave me a new polearm which created a tingly bubble-bath effect around my feet. It was way cool dude.
11:13 am
Wanting to prove I was worthy of this new polearm, I waded into a group of champion threshers, Neo vs. Agent Smith style. I was sustaining heavy injuries, but nothing was going to stop my fervor to destroy the Minions of hell. My boss must have thought I was showing off, as she teleported me next to this funky chick called Asheara. She had also healed all my injuries - a sorceress that was also healer! xXxSexySosoxXx is one totally wicked dudette!
11:14 am
My boss was frying those pesky Flayers by the dozen when suddenly I heard her shout something at me... it sounded like "mana" or something. It didn't matter as she teleported us next to the Asheara chick again. I noticed that the tingly bubble-bath effect around my feet had returned.
12:28 pm
We were kicking the butts of a bunch of corrupted Councillor dudes, when my combat honed sixth sense alerted me to a presence chilling out in a nearby pond. Sure enough, this trippy snake thing rose from the murky waters and began spitting at xXxSexySosoxXx. An insult to my lady was an insult to my honor! So, flexing my muscles, I stood my ground and stared down this snake dude, daring it to spit at her again. In the blink of an eye, I was in Kurast Docks, listening to my boss gossip with Asheara about boyfriends and other girly stuff.
1:16 pm
xXxSexySosoxXx was standing in the Plains of Despair rearranging what I presume was her makeup kit, a belt full of various red, blue and purple skin treatments. Since our mission was to hunt Diablo and his minions, I stealthily set off and tracked down a dozen Pit Lords, and led them back to xXxSexySosoxXx for her to destroy. Apparently, she was so obsessed with her makeup kit that she teleported us both next to this freaky dude with neon tentacles growing from his back. I figured this must be her makeup artist.
2:53 pm
Greiz's tactical training had taught me that in a team of mixed specialists, each member should perform the job they are most suited for. Therefore, I allowed my boss to fight the Gloams with her ranged spells while I engaged hand-to-hand with the Trapped Souls. The Gloams must have messed up xXxSexySosoxXx's make-up, as she teleported us next to that freaky makeup artist dude again.
3:49 pm
Fighting our way across the Frigid Highlands, we mobbed by Death Maulers who were threatening to surround us. From the tactical training that Greiz had given me, I knew it was crucial to ensure all exit paths were available to us. So, I began destroying all the doors I could find, confident in xXxSexySosoxXx ability to divert the Death Maulers' attention while I went about this important mission. It turned out unnecessary, as xXxSexySosoxXx teleported both of us into Harrogath right next to this rad meat-head dude called Qual-Kehk.
4:15 pm
I was blissfully reflecting the day's events while wandering through the Worldstone Keep. In the back of my mind, I heard xXxSexySosoxXx's screams of pain a few feet away; I laughed to myself at that thought - what could possibly harm such a powerful Sorceress? So I went back to my daydreaming and imagined that there was a full scale melee all around me. Before I realised, I was standing next to the Qual-Kehk dude again.
5:07 pm
While meleeing with some of Baal's Minions, I watched in awe as xXxSexySosoxXx rained fire on our enemies. Confident that she was able to destroy them on her own, I broke off from the fight in order to guard the entrance to the Throne of Destruction. Before I knew it, I was standing next to Qual-Kehk again. With one spell, my boss was able to finish off the minions, kick Baal's butt, level up three times and send us back to Harrogath! This xXxSexySosoxXx chick is one legend of a dudette!
Waheed's Diary
8:23 am
Having trained since kindergarten at Greiz's Combat Academy, I was looking forward to my first job as a mercenary to one of the heroes that were going to kick some Prime Evil butt. I was delighted to be hired by this cool dudette called xXxSexySosoxXx.
8:55 am
Our first combat in the desert. Watching my new boss call down fire from the sky and chuck frozen shards of ice, I was awed by her powers. Respectfully, I chose not to use my aura so that she could prove her skillz unassisted. I heard some screams; suddenly the world blacked out momentarily and I was back in Lut Gholein right next to Greiz. Not only were xXxSexySosoxXx's combat skillz totally wicked, this dudette has this trippy ability to teleport large distances. She also seems to level up whenever she uses this teleport skill.
11:12 am
My boss gave me a new polearm which created a tingly bubble-bath effect around my feet. It was way cool dude.
11:13 am
Wanting to prove I was worthy of this new polearm, I waded into a group of champion threshers, Neo vs. Agent Smith style. I was sustaining heavy injuries, but nothing was going to stop my fervor to destroy the Minions of hell. My boss must have thought I was showing off, as she teleported me next to this funky chick called Asheara. She had also healed all my injuries - a sorceress that was also healer! xXxSexySosoxXx is one totally wicked dudette!
11:14 am
My boss was frying those pesky Flayers by the dozen when suddenly I heard her shout something at me... it sounded like "mana" or something. It didn't matter as she teleported us next to the Asheara chick again. I noticed that the tingly bubble-bath effect around my feet had returned.
12:28 pm
We were kicking the butts of a bunch of corrupted Councillor dudes, when my combat honed sixth sense alerted me to a presence chilling out in a nearby pond. Sure enough, this trippy snake thing rose from the murky waters and began spitting at xXxSexySosoxXx. An insult to my lady was an insult to my honor! So, flexing my muscles, I stood my ground and stared down this snake dude, daring it to spit at her again. In the blink of an eye, I was in Kurast Docks, listening to my boss gossip with Asheara about boyfriends and other girly stuff.
1:16 pm
xXxSexySosoxXx was standing in the Plains of Despair rearranging what I presume was her makeup kit, a belt full of various red, blue and purple skin treatments. Since our mission was to hunt Diablo and his minions, I stealthily set off and tracked down a dozen Pit Lords, and led them back to xXxSexySosoxXx for her to destroy. Apparently, she was so obsessed with her makeup kit that she teleported us both next to this freaky dude with neon tentacles growing from his back. I figured this must be her makeup artist.
2:53 pm
Greiz's tactical training had taught me that in a team of mixed specialists, each member should perform the job they are most suited for. Therefore, I allowed my boss to fight the Gloams with her ranged spells while I engaged hand-to-hand with the Trapped Souls. The Gloams must have messed up xXxSexySosoxXx's make-up, as she teleported us next to that freaky makeup artist dude again.
3:49 pm
Fighting our way across the Frigid Highlands, we mobbed by Death Maulers who were threatening to surround us. From the tactical training that Greiz had given me, I knew it was crucial to ensure all exit paths were available to us. So, I began destroying all the doors I could find, confident in xXxSexySosoxXx ability to divert the Death Maulers' attention while I went about this important mission. It turned out unnecessary, as xXxSexySosoxXx teleported both of us into Harrogath right next to this rad meat-head dude called Qual-Kehk.
4:15 pm
I was blissfully reflecting the day's events while wandering through the Worldstone Keep. In the back of my mind, I heard xXxSexySosoxXx's screams of pain a few feet away; I laughed to myself at that thought - what could possibly harm such a powerful Sorceress? So I went back to my daydreaming and imagined that there was a full scale melee all around me. Before I realised, I was standing next to the Qual-Kehk dude again.
5:07 pm
While meleeing with some of Baal's Minions, I watched in awe as xXxSexySosoxXx rained fire on our enemies. Confident that she was able to destroy them on her own, I broke off from the fight in order to guard the entrance to the Throne of Destruction. Before I knew it, I was standing next to Qual-Kehk again. With one spell, my boss was able to finish off the minions, kick Baal's butt, level up three times and send us back to Harrogath! This xXxSexySosoxXx chick is one legend of a dudette!