Challenging RPG fight

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

You're playing a wizard in an RPG. You have a warrior cornered at the end of a box canyon. He has a medallion that renders your magic ineffective against his person. His fighting skill is so superior that he is the equivelant of 10 men. He has placed himself far enough away from the canyon walls so a landslide cannot injure/kill him.

One of you must die. How would you go about it? Use your imagination.

[Sokar Rostau]

Cause an earthquake, that creates chasms with lava welling up, of such intensity that he cannot stand.

Or simply turn the entire floor of the canyon into molten rock to a depth of three metres. Absorb THAT *****!

[SelfBaisResistor]

Sweet, text based RPG's. Ok, I'd first look around. I see a flask on the ground, and my exits are North, South, and Dennis. I'd get ye flask and drink it.

Anyway, create a massive sinkhole below him that he cannot climb out of. Let him then die of starvation.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

Cause an earthquake, that creates chasms with lava welling up, of such intensity that he cannot stand.
Unfortunatly for you the first lava flow erupts from under your feet. You're dead.


Or simply turn the entire floor of the canyon into molten rock to a depth of three metres. Absorb THAT *****!
Unfortunatly for you the first lava flow erupts from under your feet. You're dead again.


Anyway, create a massive sinkhole below him that he cannot climb out of. Let him then die of starvation.
The fighter is very nimble. He climbs back out and eviscerates you and hangs you by the neck by your entrails. You're very dead.

[Sokar Rostau]

Sorry Smeg, but I cast a hover spell first so I'm still alive and cooking marshmallows as I fly away.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

On your second life you cast hover first? OK. So there you are, hovering in the air. The fighter is quite amused as he shoots you full of arrows. You're dead again.

[Edeas_Knight]

Sacrifice the Wizard and keep playing with the Warrior.

[Stompwampa]

I press L1/L2 R1/R2 Start/Select at the same time to reset the game.

I never come back.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

Sacrifice the Wizard and keep playing with the Warrior.
Thread over. I can't defeat that.

[Sokar Rostau]

With 400% FCR, I'm quite certain I can Hover and Cast some kind of Magma spell before the Warrior can reach his bow.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

~rolls d20~
You get a 4. Nope. Pincusion.

[The Future now]

Cast a "bubble" shaped forcefield around him. See how long he lasts before he runs out of air.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

Cast a "bubble" shaped forcefield around him. See how long he lasts before he runs out of air.
The warrior scoffs at you as he pulls out a Rod of Teleportation and appears next to you. Your scattered bones are found next season by a band of small black demons who take your bones to an abandoned monastary where they are made into weapons.

[The Future now]

Ok, instead of the bubble I teleport him into the sun.

edit: Oh yeah, I can't use magic on him...

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

In your moment of hesitation the warrior breaks your back and stuffs your nose up your arse. Then in a fit of giggles he sets fire to your pubes. You die a tragic death.

[{KOW}Spazed]

Future took my idea.

Failing that:
Teleport to the top of the canyon, call friends for help.

Pull out exploding potion and kill him after casting a force field.

Turn all of his stuff into stone(You said it didn't work on him, nothing about his items)

Go super sayan and kill him.

Cause a wind so great it lifts him off the ground and hurls him high into the air.

Shoot a fireball at a nearby cactus causing a flashbang effect and kill him with my dagger while he is disoriented.

Imprision him in a block of ice that regenerates, preventing him from melting his way out.


EDIT: Kill the DM who made an impossible boss just because he has a small weiner.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

Failing that:
Teleport to the top of the canyon, call friends for help.
While waiting for friends to arrive, warrior scales the cliff and tosses you down.


Pull out exploding potion and kill him after casting a force field.
Exactly how do you intend to kill him with a potion after casing a force field? Warrior uses Rod of Teleportation and cleaves your body in twain.


Turn all of his stuff into stone(You said it didn't work on him, nothing about his items)
OK, you're on the right track there. He's trapped in a stone shell. Unfortnately for you, he's protected from any further attack you may bring. Stalemate has been achieved. This angers the gods. Thus angered, you are judged, found wanting and are sentenced to be eaten by the Giant Bugblatter of Keiljiggy Pass.


Go super sayan and kill him.
The gods rather disapprove of power gamers. You're turned into a 16 year old virgin wench and teleported into a criminal lepers colony where you are brutally raped, tortured, then eaten.


Cause a wind so great it lifts him off the ground and hurls him high into the air.
Warrior scoffs and dons a Ring of Feather Falling. After safely returning to the ground he pulls your feet out your ears.


Shoot a fireball at a nearby cactus causing a flashbang effect and kill him with my dagger while he is disoriented.
What cactus? In your moment of confusion your butt in impaled on large pointy rock and you bleed to death.


Imprision him in a block of ice that regenerates, preventing him from melting his way out.
Unfortunatly as such a spell is one of great power it takes more than a moment to cast. As you prepare the regeants the warrior walks up and sets you on fire.


EDIT: Kill the DM who made an impossible boss just because he has a small weiner.
Just because he's tough doesn't mean he's impossible. Be creative.

[The Future now]

I'd summon a warrior who's equal to 11 men.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

I'd summon a warrior who's equal to 11 men.
Again, such as spell takes a while. While chanting the warrior procedes to give you several flesh wounds even the Black Knight would cringe over.

[The Future now]

Ok Kowspazed said " Teleport to the top of the canyon, "

You replied " While waiting for friends to arrive, warrior scales the cliff and tosses you down "

While the warrior is scaling the cliff I "Turn all of his stuff into stone(You said it didn't work on him, nothing about his items) "

You already conceded this would work. So he falls to his death. If he somehow still survives I summon my champion who's worth 11 men in combat.

If he can't injure him in the stone equipment, I turn everything (including his weapons and armor) into mist.

Game over.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

That's the spirit!

Warrior - 15
Edeas_Knight - 1
The Future now - 1

ANybody else?

[Tings]

enchant his underpants with a levitation spell.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

enchant his underpants with a levitation spell.
All you manage to do is give him a thrill. IN appreciation for this he allows you to live a moment longer. Then he cuts you to pieces.

[chi987]

While the warrior has his back turned, you hide behind a rocky crevice and cast a powerful spell upon yourself. Instantly, you are turned into a fair maiden, and the warrior is enchanted by your dazzling eyes. You ask him out on a date, and he is powerless to do anything but comply. You conjure up a relatively cheap bottle of wine and a nice steak dinner, medium rare, with mashed potatoes and gravy. The warrior, having not eaten anything but salted pork for days quickly obliges, and you start to have a friendly conversation.

You ask him what it's like being a warrior, and he begins to tell you. He drones on about the empire, and the glory of the king, and while you fight back tears, you manage to stay conscious. You smile as he gulps down a drought of the poisoned wine, but grimace again as he continues unphased, now retelling his family lineage. damn! the medallion must have protected him.

You tell him that you have to leave, but you've had a wonderful time. He goes to kiss you on the cheak, and you cringe but let him. You compliment him on his fine medallion, and he nods, saying that it is a workmanship passed down to him by the king. As subtlely as possible you ask him for it, and he's had such a wonderful time that it would be downright rude of him to refuse. With the medallion in hand you say goodbye for the night, and as he turns, you quickly grab hold of his quiver and take one of his arrows without him noticing. And cunningly, you run to the edge of the cave. You press your hands against the stone canyon, and from the rocky wall you create and giant rock golem, which roars with anger. The warrior now sees through your guise and rushes to attack you, but the golem slams a heavy claw against his shield.

The warrior draws his sword and begins to battle the golem. Without his medallion, this magical creature proves a challenge for him, but he battles it back with skillful swordplay. Meanwhile, you take the arrow you pilfered from him and slowly cast a spell of ice upon it. Flinging it up into the air, it forms a giant, icy comet of crystal and ice, but eventually as the sphere gains weight, the earth's gravity begins to pull it back towards land. You cover your ears as the comet crashes back to earth in a giant sonic boom.

The comet is disintegrated and creates an ominous cloud of dust over the atmosphere. This causes the CO2 concentration to skyrocket, and the effect of global warming is increased tenfold. Soon enough, the polar icecaps begin to melt and the canyon, being boxlike in nature, is filled to the brim with water. You fly away and laugh maniacally as the warrior desperately tries to swim to safety, but drowns in the resulting flood.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

You desperately need a girlfriend

[Dondrei]

I'd type in the god mode code and whack him to death with my pissy little wand.

Umm... I dunno, create an illusion so he thinks I'm standing still (I cast the illusion on the air where I want it to appear and on myself, so his resistance isn't an issue) but I've actually moved out of the way, and conjure a pit of spikes where I'm standing so that when he charges me he falls in. But you're probably just going to say he isn't fooled or something, so whatever.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

I'd type in the god mode code and whack him to death with my pissy little wand.
Sorry, the only code accepted is the Code of the Anejo. Drink and get drunk.


Umm... I dunno, create an illusion so he thinks I'm standing still (I cast the illusion on the air where I want it to appear and on myself, so his resistance isn't an issue) but I've actually moved out of the way, and conjure a pit of spikes where I'm standing so that when he charges me he falls in. But you're probably just going to say he isn't fooled or something, so whatever.
YOu're right. He isnt' fooled. He shoots both illusions with arrows. Your image vanishes and your skull is split by the arrow. Death reigns supreme.

[Dondrei]

Hmm. In that case I enchant his arrows so that when he tries to shoot them they explode in his face.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

And so they do explode. Did you forget that warriors wear armor? Splinters from the exploding arrows bounce off the armor. In your confusion the warrior rushes over and cleaves your body in two. You die pitifully.

[Dondrei]

Is his armour metal? Then I conjure a mass of electrons just above his head, they jump the gap and electrocute him.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

Is his armour metal? Then I conjure a mass of electrons just above his head, they jump the gap and electrocute him.
Ding Ding Ding!!! We have another winner!

Except you died earlier but I won't hold that against you.

[Dondrei]

I was also thinking of magically guiding a baseball so it hit his chest just between heartbeats and put him into cardiac arrest.

[Stoutwood]

Conjure up a .45 and shoot him Indiana Jones-style.

[masterazn]

Cast a spell that switches the wizard's location with smeg's location. Done deal, smeg gets owned.

[Cannon Fodder]

I cast Web throughout the entire canyon (which can be done very quickly), rendering him immobile long enough for me to summon water to fill the whole freakin canyon. Seeing as I'm a Warforged, I can breathe underwater. I take my time laughing bubbly laughs at him and then swim over and remove his amulet of underwater action and put it into my bag of unlimited holding. His smug expression disappears as he drowns. Right before he passes out, I kick him in the family jewels just to make his death a bit more painful and humiliating.

[Ace_wanderer]

I summon headphones near his head and play NickelBack, he goes crazy and jumps off the cliff.

Game over.

[Nerf-Herder]

Cast Invisibility on myself and then stealth over to the warrior, grab his pendant, then pump a 16d6 fireball up his ***.

[CibaBlue]

I'd tell him to turn off his l33t hax.. then i'd say \cry and walk away pitifully :/

[Raistlin Majere]

In your moment of confusion your butt in impaled on large pointy rock and you bleed to death.
Last I checked warriors are flat footed.

I'd ether cast delayed Fireball, and cast restrictive bubble. The warrior is stuck in the bubble with the fireball. fireball goes off, the explosive force reflected by the bubble walls, amplifying the damage, and overwhelming the warriors enchantment.

Or...

Cast self Polymorph and become a Great Wyrm Red Dragon, and eat him. Slowly.

[HAMC8112]

That warrior, is that a sealclubber or a Turtle tamer?

[gorf]

I polymorph into a cigar smoke elemental, hoping that when he eventually dies of cancer, he thinks of me.

[Sir EvilFreeSmeg]

You guys are still playing? I left this nerdfest and went to bed. There is a serious need for girlfriends in here

[freebieguy]

not every1 is as lucky as u. lol

[asdf]

does telefragging work here? it was the funnest way to kill in UT 2k3

adding to the "teleport to top of the canyon" method:
1. cause a landslide while he scales the cliff. he must have been susceptible to that if he was keeping a safe distance away from it before, right?
2. lava floes that didn't work before should get him
3. cast a multitude of fire spells so the entire canyon has no breathable oxygen. even better, a large load of carbon monoxide.

if he's carrying arrows- set them on fire. set his scrolls on fire too, i'm sure he's carrying a whole lot of flammable/combustible items to supplement all his shortcomings as a warrior.

cast a spell so the walls of the canyon close in on him. teleport to safety.

[skihard]

You're playing a wizard in an RPG. You have a warrior cornered at the end of a box canyon. He has a medallion that renders your magic ineffective against his person. His fighting skill is so superior that he is the equivelant of 10 men. He has placed himself far enough away from the canyon walls so a landslide cannot injure/kill him.

One of you must die. How would you go about it? Use your imagination.
That is the key to this very easy battle, you cast a spell stripping him of every object he has, since the object are not his person the magic of the medallion is rendered useless. The nekid Warrior can now do nothing but attach you with his skin sword, which I hope is quite useless against your magic.

This is a little something I learned from the Geneva Convention rules regarding the use of large caliber weapons against people. The convention says nothing about attacking his equipment, and it’s not our fault the 50 cal bullets go right through the vest, belt, helmet and into the person…is it?


I win the warrior is now dead. All to easy.

[Archedgar]

Ouch, skihard owned ECI's warrior.



Anyway, you could also just summon a legion of minions and have them own the warrior...

[GrimAngelNamu]

I cast transmute pants to acid. In his confusion over his roasting crotch, I summon a rogue to steal the ring, then I cast a hold person on him. While he's held, I have the rogue tie him up in adamantium chains, and then procede to kicking him in the nuts repeatedly, while he cringes, eventually ending with having the rogue rape him

[Stoutwood]

You guys are still playing? I left this nerdfest and went to bed. There is a serious need for girlfriends in here

If I'm not mistaken, the "at least I'm not a loser like you" line is equivalent to an admission of defeat in most RPGs.

[WildBerry]

If I'm not mistaken, the "at least I'm not a loser like you" line is equivalent to an admission of defeat in most RPGs.

Pwn! Stout, you hit harder than Shaq!

[Quietus]

Cast a quickened Obscuring Mist, followed by Teleport. Teleport 500 feet above the ground. Cast Teleport Object as I fall, moving the 50 feet of earth directly beneath the warrior's feet directly over his head, and thus burying him 50 feet underground. Cast a quickened Antimagic Field on his armor as he drops, so that none of his magical objects work (except, perhaps, his amulet of neener-neener-neener, if it's an artifact), and once he's buried, he won't have the time or space to remove the armor before he suffocates.

I fall 200 feet a turn, and so am able to cast feather fall well before I hit the ground. I take the first opportunity to turn the earth around the warrior to admantine, with the space so limited that even if he manages to get out he can't escape the effect of the antimagic field. If he doesn't suffocate, he starves to death.