So I asked this girl...

[Module88]

out... twice. And crashed and burned twice. She's one of those people who don't want to get married, want to stay single, etc etc. How the hell do I convince her to go to dinner with me? Honestly, it's a five dollar dinner at the local fast food restaurant. She seems to enjoy my sense of humor, but for some reason, she won't even spend a night with me. Suggestions? What could be going on in her head?

[Mecal]

she's really a man.

nah, but, did she give any excuse? or just say "no thanks"?

[Module88]

she's really a man.

nah, but, did she give any excuse? or just say "no thanks"?

:lol: You wish. The first time, it was "I have to be in the mood for fast food," which, as you can probably tell, is bull****. The second time, she just said no. No real reason. :Shrug: Women are so complicated.

[Johnny6]

Really? That's complicated?

[Module88]

What's complicated is understanding them.

[Steve_Kow]

I think she's being pretty straight forward, not complicated at all. She isn't interested in dating you.

It sucks, but as a friend of mine is fond of saying "There are other mothers with beautiful daughters."

[Steel_Avatar]

What's confusing is why you won't just give up and move on. If she's not interested, she's not interested, dude. Trying twice is okay. Keep trying and it's just kinda sad :(

[IDupedInMyPants]

She seems to enjoy my sense of humor, but for some reason, she won't even spend a night with me.

That's your problem right there. Comedy isn't a relationship builder, it's an ice-breaker. You need to work on showcasing some other facets of your personality and building some common ground, even if you have to make either or both up. Unless you're hideous or something, in which case you're screwed, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.

[Module88]

What's confusing is why you won't just give up and move on. If she's not interested, she's not interested, dude. Trying twice is okay. Keep trying and it's just kinda sad :(

One dinner. At a fast food restaurant. All I'm asking for is an OPPORTUNITY. We've known each other for years, but she won't even give me that? Come on. As for your statement Kow, I'm not in it for the sex.

[IDupedInMyPants]

I'm not in it for the sex.

Oh, you will be. You will be.

[Module88]

Oh, you will be. You will be.


Not so, young one. o_o

[Ranger14]

One dinner. At a fast food restaurant. All I'm asking for is an OPPORTUNITY. We've known each other for years, but she won't even give me that? Come on. As for your statement Kow, I'm not in it for the sex.

I agree with Steel. Especially now I know you have been friends for years. Take a hint and move on. Not to sound cliche', but "what part of no don't you understand? Keep it up and you will end up losing her as a friend also.

...and asking her for dinner at a fast food restaurant as a first date might not be the best idea.

[Module88]

What? I didn't say we were friends, I said we knew each other. Hey, it's not like I'm going to ask her to the movies. You don't get to know the person- all you do is sit there. I'd prefer a nice, relaxed dinner, followed by a moonlight walk. I'll ask once more I think. Suggestions? This time I'm going to spill it all and just ask her I want one chance to prove myself, instead of just asking her to dinner. This is ridiculous. I want the chance, nothing more.

[Ev_]

Regardless of your intentions on the first "date," she knows that you're interested in her. She's obviously not interested in you. Don't ask her again, for your sake. Taking her out once is not going to win her over. You have a better chance doing that by just hanging out the way you normally do.

[Ranger14]

My apologies. If she has known you for years and has turned you down twice, why would you want to go out with someone who isn't that interested anyway? I would prefer asking out women that I, at least, knew were interested in me. Women tend to get funny if guys don't get the hint, so I would exercise some caution.

I would never take a woman to a movie on the first date. You are right there. I definitely wouldn't take them to McDonalds or Burger King though.
I don't know how old you are, so that may help in giving you advice.

Edit: I would definitely agree with Ev's advice.

[Module88]

You have a better chance doing that by just hanging out the way you normally do.

We never talk to each other. :lol:


I definitely wouldn't take them to McDonalds or Burger King though.

Oh HELL no. More like a small Chinese restuarant. It's off by some trees and a small river, so I figured it'd be a good place to take a walk. 17. Also, the difficulty is not that she's not interested in me (the few moments we do chat, she always laughs and seems to have a good time), but it's she not interested in anyone. Perhaps she fears getting hurt? I don't know.

[TopHatCat64]

We never talk to each other.
Er, why would she interested in you then if you never talk?



(the few moments we do chat, she always laughs and seems to have a good time), but it's she not interested in anyone. Perhaps she fears getting hurt? I don't know.

It's quite possible she doesn't want to get into a relationship right now.

As other have said, if you've asked her twice already and and been refused twice it's probably best not to push your luck.

[Module88]

Er, why would she interested in you then if you never talk?

When we do talk, she seems to enjoy the conversation, as mentioned.


It's quite possible she doesn't want to get into a relationship right now.

As other have said, if you've asked her twice already and and been refused twice it's probably best not to push your luck.

Or ever, for that matter. She doesn't plan on getting married, so she says. But hey, look, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I'm going to try one more time regardless of what any of you say. I would appreciate, however, any tips on going about this. For instance, my other friend told me to wear a cup. Good advice. Anyone else?

[Steve_Kow]

I didn't say you were in it only for sex.

[Module88]

I didn't say you were in it only for sex.

"There are other mothers with beautiful daughters."

The beauty I'm looking for is rare nowadays.

[corax]

call her a hussy and storm out :D

maybe its because she's an ambitious woman (sounds like) and your trying to take her to a fast food restaurant?

[Module88]

call her a hussy and storm out :D

maybe its because she's an ambitious woman (sounds like) and your trying to take her to a fast food restaurant?

I suppose she is. Mimie's Cafe? (If anyone has ever heard of that) O_O

[Ranger14]

Well, you said you were going to take her for fast food in an earlier post.

Mimi's is just fine. I eat there once in a while and that would be a decent enough place, or a nice little Chinese restaurant or little pizza place, but not a generic chain pizza place. It all is kind of moot though, as she doesn't want to go out with you. Obviously she is one of those women that thinks if she goes out with a guy she has to end up marrying him. :p

Ask someone else out where you stand a chance.

[Module88]

I don't know if she's afraid she'll be hurt or what. Perhaps she's afraid of ruining her reputation by *gasp* going out to dinner with someone. In any case, I'm going to ask her, so stop telling me not to. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Hell, all I want to do, at the least, is be her friend. But even that is difficult. Cripes.

[rare]

The beauty I'm looking for is rare nowadays.

Aw, thanks.

Maybe the only reason she seems to have fun the few times you guys talk is just to be kind. Shes the kind of person that'll talk to most people, be polite, be interested in the conversation, but nothing more.

[corax]

goodluck :thumbsup:

[Mecal]

Well gang, looks like we solved another case.

-stay tooned for tomorrow's scene of Scooby Doo-

======

but actually, i thought of something
Tell her you're ***, and that you want to see what its like to go out with a memeber of the opposite sex.
That'll work! :thumbsup:

[masterazn]

What's confusing is why you won't just give up and move on. If she's not interested, she's not interested, dude. Trying twice is okay. Keep trying and it's just kinda sad :(


That got me somewhere actually. But I didn't keep asking her out.


Why not just spend more time with her, let her get to know you better and you to know her better. Instead of asking her out like that, just casually spend some time together. Maybe she's scared.












SHE HAS SOMEONE ELSE!

[cyclotronic]

Cyclos conclusion:

You are not good looking enough to provoke a first date with out getting to know her atleast on a freinds level.

Solution:

Make her and chloroform best pals. Once she wakes up in your windowless basement she will be forced to talk to you.

[Ev_]

I'm 95% certain she won't go out with you alone, so try this:
"Hey some friends and I are gonna go eat dinner, wanna come along?"

[Bortaz]

She thinks you're ugly?

[blu3l1ghtn1ng]

Maybe she is dealing with someone else at the moment, or she is interested in someone else. She probably doesn't feel like having a relationship with you if she likes someone else. Even though you make her laugh, you still don't know her and her life well enough to assume that she has no relationship plans. My advice: enjoy her friendship, if you guys become closer then good ask her out again, if not then find someone else.

[Aeval]

i wouldn't ask again, and i agree with pretty much everyone else, but if you insist on asking her again...

make it a more casual affair. lunch on a saturday, pizza with a bunch of other people, bowling or something that will take the romantic edge off of "dinner and a moonlit walk".

imo if she's gun shy now, a moonlit walk after a dinner with someone she has already turned down twice is probably going to make her avoid further interactions with you as much as possible.

if you really want to get to know her, pushing the point isn't going to get you far.

[Module88]

Why not just spend more time with her, let her get to know you better and you to know her better. Instead of asking her out like that, just casually spend some time together. Maybe she's scared.

Are you confused? I'm trying to spend time with her. ><


Make her and chloroform best pals. Once she wakes up in your windowless basement she will be forced to talk to you.

Last time someone tried that, they never saw their balls again. O_O


I'm 95% certain she won't go out with you alone, so try this:
"Hey some friends and I are gonna go eat dinner, wanna come along?"

Tried it. "Maybe," was the answer. And everyone knows that means no.


She thinks you're ugly?

Hmm.... :Checks mirror: Nope. :)


My advice: enjoy her friendship, if you guys become closer then good ask her out again, if not then find someone else.

WHAT FRIENDSHIP. That's the goal, remember?


lunch on a saturday, pizza with a bunch of other people, bowling or something that will take the romantic edge off of "dinner and a moonlit walk".

I'll try that again, I suppose. She knows nothing of the walk. All she knows is dinner at a restaurant. Nothing fancy. But I'll try your piece of advice. Thanks.

[blu3l1ghtn1ng]

WHAT FRIENDSHIP. That's the goal, remember?


I'll try that again, I suppose. She knows nothing of the walk. All she knows is dinner at a restaurant. Nothing fancy. But I'll try your piece of advice. Thanks.

I thought the goal was to get in her pants.

Dinner at a restaurant is pretty fancy for 17. I know you said its pretty cheap, but still. Why don't you try something easy going like a movie.

[Newman]

out... twice. And crashed and burned twice. She's one of those people who don't want to get married, want to stay single, etc etc. How the hell do I convince her to go to dinner with me? Honestly, it's a five dollar dinner at the local fast food restaurant. She seems to enjoy my sense of humor, but for some reason, she won't even spend a night with me. Suggestions? What could be going on in her head?

Well there's your problem bro..

"It's a 5 dollar dinner at a local fast food restaurant.."

Is it like a McDonalds? If it is, that date is destined for failure. If she said no, then leave it at that. You said she already said no twice, so why would she say yes a third time? Leave her be, go find someone else.

[Ranger14]

He did clarify earlier that he wasn't going to a McDonalds or that kind of fast food.

It sounds like you are set on going through with this, so I wish you luck. The only thing I still don't get is that you are justifying asking her out because you make her laugh when you do talk to her so that means she must like you, but she just needs to be convinced. I don't want to have to convince a woman to like me, because I am going to have to convince her to stay with me from then on. If being able to make a woman laugh means that they are interested in dating me, I should have had a date just about every night of my life. I must be doing something else wrong. :p

[Savage]

What's confusing is why you won't just give up and move on. If she's not interested, she's not interested, dude. Trying twice is okay. Keep trying and it's just kinda sad :(
Wise words.

Maybe she just thinks you're a weirdo. Maybe she doesn't like your face. Whatever the reason she has clearly put you in the "don't date" column; keep it up and she'll put you in the "don't have anything to do with him" column.

[Jimi-]

send her flowers, do you two have the same interests and hobbies ?

[Steve_Kow]

Tell her you'll spank her if she refuses again!

[UserMathias]

McDonalds isn't a very bad place. Heck, most girls I'm interested in jump with joy at the proposition of a happy meal.

[Module88]

I thought the goal was to get in her pants.

Dinner at a restaurant is pretty fancy for 17. I know you said its pretty cheap, but still. Why don't you try something easy going like a movie.

>< I already stated why I'm not going to a movie. If you think a five dollar dinner at a nice restaurant is fancy, go away. -_- It's not like a McDonald's. It's hard to describe unless you see it. It's casual, but not that casual.


Whatever the reason she has clearly put you in the "don't date" column; keep it up and she'll put you in the "don't have anything to do with him" column.

Did you guys skip everything? I'M ALREADY IN THAT COLUMN. Like I said, nothing to lose, everything to gain.


I must be doing something else wrong.

Clearly the weather is at fault. :)


send her flowers, do you two have the same interests and hobbies ?

I thought flowers would be peachy, yes? Considering what's going on right now. As for interests, we're polar opposites. Opposites attract, no? But we do have some common ground.

If anything, I'd like to get to know her better, and at least, be her friend. Is it a possibility she's confused and thinks I'm in it for the sex or a long term relationship?

[Ash Housewares]

If anything, I'd like to get to know her better, and at least, be her friend. Is it a possibility she's confused and thinks I'm in it for the sex or a long term relationship?

I'm a bit confused on what you want, so that's believable

[Geeno]

Shes gonna go tell all her friends that youre stalkin her *** and then your screwed.

Quit being a dufus and just find another one.

100% of the people here have told you this.

Get a freakin clue.

[Module88]

The ones I'm looking for are rare, as mentioned. I at least want to be her friend, if anything. Is that too much to ask?

[Steve_Kow]

Actually . . . come to think of it.

Go for it. Pull out all the stops. You don't want to have to wonder "What if?" for the rest of your life. I can't give you good odds of success, but perhaps looking like a fool is worth the chance of winning and the knowledge that you did all you could.

Fight the good fight!

[UserMathias]

I at least want to be her friend, if anything. Is that too much to ask?

What is so special and extraordinary about this girl that you really want to be her friend (besides appearance)? It sounds to me like you're really just holding out for a chance to hook up with her.

Besides, you can't simply *make* someone your friend. So to answer your question: Yes, that is asking too much of her. Get over it.

[Garbad_the_Weak]

Chain yourself to her front door and have a hunger stike until she has sex with you. Rinse, repeat. Once she is in the habit, you have her.

Garbad

[IDupedInMyPants]

You should listen to Garbad. That's how he almost lost his virginity.

[jimmyboy]

Has anyone considered that Module is barking up the wrong tree?

Does she ... like field hockey?
Does she hate makeup?
Does she want to be a cop in the future?
Does she want a family without getting married?
Does she only have guy friends?
Does she never wear dresses?
Does she prefer to be in the weight room than aerobics?

By themselves, they're stereotyping, but together... hmmm.

[IDupedInMyPants]

The possibility also exists that she saw him as a "safe" guy, in a manner of speaking. He plays Jokey Jokemaker for two years without making a move so she thinks "Ok, he's obviously ***, I guess I can safely talk to him in the cafeteria if nobody else is around." Then one day he finally makes some attempt at a move and she sees her queendom of safety come crashing down around her. But of course she's a woman in training, and she'd feel bad if she stopped talking to him, so she lies about why she won't date him and keeps talking to him, maybe even thinking she can salvage the queendom. And being a man in training he takes this as a positive or non-negative sign and keeps trying, eventually turning to the internet for assistance.

My advice is find a girl who doesn't think you're ***

Girl actually do this, by the way. I even had one girl tell me that she'll pretend a guy's *** even if she knows for a fact that he's not, just so she can keep that layer of safety intact, even if it's a pretend layer. I think the "friend zone" has been mistakenly named. My field work tends to indicate that it is in reality a "homo zone." Maybe it's a sign of the times.

[Module88]

Actually . . . come to think of it.

Go for it. Pull out all the stops. You don't want to have to wonder "What if?" for the rest of your life. I can't give you good odds of success, but perhaps looking like a fool is worth the chance of winning and the knowledge that you did all you could.

Fight the good fight!

Actually, that's one of the reasons I want to do this. I've seen it happen more than enough. I don't plan on making the same mistake.


What is so special and extraordinary about this girl that you really want to be her friend (besides appearance)? It sounds to me like you're really just holding out for a chance to hook up with her.

Spirit, kindness, determination, ambition, intelligence, a sense of humor, among other things.


Chain yourself to her front door and have a hunger stike until she has sex with you. Rinse, repeat. Once she is in the habit, you have her.

Someone suggested that to me earlier. Unfortunately, the guys who tried that were... "disabled." Permanently. O_O


Does she ... like field hockey?
Does she hate makeup?
Does she want to be a cop in the future?
Does she want a family without getting married?
Does she only have guy friends?
Does she never wear dresses?
Does she prefer to be in the weight room than aerobics?

No clue. Yes. No. No. No. Yes. Yes. Partly why she's so attractive. :)


The possibility also exists that she saw him as a "safe" guy, in a manner of speaking. He plays Jokey Jokemaker for two years without making a move so she thinks "Ok, he's obviously ***, I guess I can safely talk to him in the cafeteria if nobody else is around." Then one day he finally makes some attempt at a move and she sees her queendom of safety come crashing down around her. But of course she's a woman in training, and she'd feel bad if she stopped talking to him, so she lies about why she won't date him and keeps talking to him, maybe even thinking she can salvage the queendom. And being a man in training he takes this as a positive or non-negative sign and keeps trying, eventually turning to the internet for assistance.

My advice is find a girl who doesn't think you're ***

Girl actually do this, by the way. I even had one girl tell me that she'll pretend a guy's *** even if she knows for a fact that he's not, just so she can keep that layer of safety intact, even if it's a pretend layer. I think the "friend zone" has been mistakenly named. My field work tends to indicate that it is in reality a "homo zone." Maybe it's a sign of the times.

What. Is this a joke? I knew women were complicated, but honestly. This is ridiculous.

[Jimi-]

I think if you ask her for the third time when she has already said no twice, that will make her a bit annoyed and it will ruin your friendship also. Sometimes one has to realize the facts, maybe she doesnt like you the way you like her

[IDupedInMyPants]

Women aren't any less simple than men, they just have a different set of rules.

[Newman]

Shes gonna go tell all her friends that youre stalkin her *** and then your screwed.

Quit being a dufus and just find another one.

100% of the people here have told you this.

Get a freakin clue.

Or, you could calm down. The guy came her asking for advice, not to be belittled by folk as yourself. Take a chill pill bro.

Anyways, I would give it up bro, find a hotter chick and take her to McDonalds!!

[UserMathias]

Thanks for responding to half of what I said. Now allow me to rewrite this little line of crucial information, with the little hope that it will stay in your little brain.


You can't simply *make* someone your friend.

Get over it. Stop rationalizing.

[cyclotronic]

McDonalds isn't a very bad place. Heck, most girls I'm interested in jump with joy at the proposition of a happy meal.

9 years olds right?

[Steel_Avatar]

No no, that's Van_Hammerstein.

[Steve_Kow]

Nope, its User Mathias. Check out his spankarific avatar.

[Module88]

I think if you ask her for the third time when she has already said no twice, that will make her a bit annoyed and it will ruin your friendship also. Sometimes one has to realize the facts, maybe she doesnt like you the way you like her

I don't know if this is a joke, but if it is, it's a horrible one. I've said more than 2197321038920 times that I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I've said that we aren't friends, and at the worst case scenario, I would want a friendship to develop. It would be hard to not like me if you don't know me, so I'm confused by her logic. Or lack of.


Anyways, I would give it up bro, find a hotter chick and take her to McDonalds!!

It's more than looks.


Get over it. Stop rationalizing.

How do you have any friends? I don't suppose they gave you a chance, did they? That's all I'm asking for.

[IDupedInMyPants]

Hey, if you've known her for two years and you're not friends, you really should consider moving on.

"I have nothing to lose and everything to gain" is what people say right before they strap a bomb to their chest. You're starting to creep me out a little bit, I can only imagine how she feels.

[Module88]

Hey, if you've known her for two years and you're not friends, you really should consider moving on.

We just didn't talk much. :Shrug: Practically everyone at my school has heard my name at one time or another, but most don't talk to me. It doesn't mean anything.


"I have nothing to lose and everything to gain" is what people say right before they strap a bomb to their chest. You're starting to creep me out a little bit, I can only imagine how she feels.

The only thing those guys have to lose is their lives. I'm serious, I really don't have anything to lose here. At least, nothing I can see. I promise I won't go crazy on you. :)

[VaN_haMMerSteIn]

No no, that's Van_Hammerstein.

That was such a Low Blow.

[Ranger14]

Well, you don't have anything to lose but the respect that she and her friends may or may not have for you...

"Hey Suzie, what's with that guy asking you out again? Didn't you already say no to him? Twice? Doesn't he have any respect for how you feel? What a weirdo. Why would anyone want to go out with a guy that keeps bugging them and won't take no for an answer?"

Suzie's friend then tells her friend and then her friend and soon the whole school knows that you wouldn't take no for an answer. The way I see it you can loose a lot if you keep pushing it. Kids in high school can be pretty cruel, but your insistence on not letting her go does delve into the lines of being a little "stalky or weird". Not the reputation I would want in high school.

[Savage]

The only thing those guys have to lose is their lives. I'm serious, I really don't have anything to lose here. At least, nothing I can see. I promise I won't go crazy on you. :)
Whatever, dude. Everyone's telling you it's a bad idea and to move on, but it's not like you asked our advice, is it?

[Module88]

Well, you don't have anything to lose but the respect that she and her friends may or may not have for you...

"Hey Suzie, what's with that guy asking you out again? Didn't you already say no to him? Twice? Doesn't he have any respect for how you feel? What a weirdo. Why would anyone want to go out with a guy that keeps bugging them and won't take no for an answer?"

Ha. If only there was respect to lose in the first place. :)


Suzie's friend then tells her friend and then her friend and soon the whole school knows that you wouldn't take no for an answer. The way I see it you can loose a lot if you keep pushing it. Kids in high school can be pretty cruel, but your insistence on not letting her go does delve into the lines of being a little "stalky or weird". Not the reputation I would want in high school.


Whatever, dude. Everyone's telling you it's a bad idea and to move on, but it's not like you asked our advice, is it?

I asked for advice about how to proceed, not whether I should proceed or not. Ranger for instance, has done that. As far as I can tell, many more have not. If not, then don't post. It might seem stupid to you, but friendship isn't stupid to me.

Very well. I suppose I'll put this off for... a year. Or two. Three maybe? :Shrug:

[Twoflower]

look, friendship starts whit respect. you dont seem to have much for her, as you keep diggin after she said no twice. it seems to me you still need to learn alot about woman.

many have said it befor, i ll repeat it : she s not interested, get over it.

what part of "no" don't you understand ?



as for practical advice : if you realy realy insist on trying to date her (which of course she will also cancel a 3th time) and make a fool out of yourself, make it big time. wear ur pants on your head when asking her a 3th time, wear a red and a green shoe, speak only in a language she dosnt understand cause you made it up and similar things.

[Module88]

look, friendship starts whit respect. you dont seem to have much for her, as you keep diggin after she said no twice. it seems to me you still need to learn alot about woman.

many have said it befor, i ll repeat it : she s not interested, get over it.

what part of "no" don't you understand ?

as for practical advice : if you realy realy insist on trying to date her (which of course she will also cancel a 3th time) and make a fool out of yourself, make it big time. wear ur pants on your head when asking her a 3th time, wear a red and a green shoe, speak only in a language she dosnt understand cause you made it up and similar things.

Like I said, if you don't have anything useful to post, don't post. Throughout all of this, many of you have been discouraging me. But from what I've read, not one of you has even suggested, oh, say, an apology? For rashness? Insensitivity? Etc? Which is what I plan on doing, despite the fact that most of you haven't been very helpful at all. I'm persistent up to a point. I think an apology is at hand, just how to deliver it is a mystery still. But now that that brilliant idea came to you, maybe you can make yourself useful and help, eh?

[mexicanoloco]

hmmm...i think you should do what you think is best...follow your heart...if you really like this girl that much then go for it..

[Twoflower]

look. if you go to that girl, appologize for insensitivity and then ask her for a date AGAIN, what will she think ?

if u want a serious advice, i posted it above

if you want a advice on how to make a fool out of yourself, i posted it above :p

if you wanna ignore what 50 poeple tell you, go ahead. we warned you :)

[Twoflower]

hmmm...i think you should do what you think is best...follow your heart...if you really like this girl that much then go for it..

liking ( or loving ) has a fiew parts to it

knowledge of the person you like
respect for the person you like
care for the person you like

so if you care for her wishes and respect her wishes... well, ask yourself. sometimes to love means to let go.

[mexicanoloco]

hmm there i would have to go with you twoflower...

[Ranger14]

Like I said, if you don't have anything useful to post, don't post. Throughout all of this, many of you have been discouraging me. But from what I've read, not one of you has even suggested, oh, say, an apology? For rashness? Insensitivity? Etc? Which is what I plan on doing, despite the fact that most of you haven't been very helpful at all. I'm persistent up to a point. I think an apology is at hand, just how to deliver it is a mystery still. But now that that brilliant idea came to you, maybe you can make yourself useful and help, eh?
Well, I wish you would have let us know before that you were thinking that and I will commend you if you are considering an apology, though I don't know if that is necessary or not given what you have told us. I guess that is based on how you felt she reacted to your last request to go out. Did she seem uncomfortable or unhappy with your request.

I guess next time you have a conversation with her, just let her know that you admire her and enjoy her company and didn't want to come on too strong. Compliment her and let her know that you weren't necessarily looking for a serious relationship, but just wanted the opportunity to get to know her a little better...but respect her if she is not interested.

[mexicanoloco]

hmm..what i think is that we cant actually give real advice...since everyone is different...everyone has a different oppinion and we can give you ours...but we would have to be in your shoes to be able to know what you feel and what shes like...but we could still give opinions of what you can do :)

[Module88]

look. if you go to that girl, appologize for insensitivity and then ask her for a date AGAIN, what will she think ?

if u want a serious advice, i posted it above

if you want a advice on how to make a fool out of yourself, i posted it above :p

if you wanna ignore what 50 poeple tell you, go ahead. we warned you :)

Uh, how about, apologize for all that stuff, and then tell her how I feel? :thumbsup:

[Module88]

Well, I wish you would have let us know before that you were thinking that and I will commend you if you are considering an apology, though I don't know if that is necessary or not given what you have told us. I guess that is based on how you felt she reacted to your last request to go out. Did she seem uncomfortable or unhappy with your request.

I guess next time you have a conversation with her, just let her know that you admire her and enjoy her company and didn't want to come on too strong. Compliment her and let her know that you weren't necessarily looking for a serious relationship, but just wanted the opportunity to get to know her a little better...but respect her if she is not interested.

I don't think I have the balls to tell her in person. I think a phone call shall do. Yes? The two time she said no, she smiled and kind of shaked her head. Which, as far as I'm concerned, is a bad sign. But like I said, women are complicated.

[Twoflower]

ok i ll change my attitude a lil after i ve said what i wanted to say in the first place :) keep the respect thing in mind though :)

as for calling her, please dont. such things are generaly better talked about in person. it s too intimate to be communicated by a phonecall or a letter.

( you can look at it as practice as well, for future girls to come ( and there surely will be ))

[Module88]

as for calling her, please dont. such things are generaly better talked about in person. it s too intimate to be communicated by a phonecall or a letter.

( you can look at it as practice as well, for future girls to come ( and there surely will be ))

In theory, it is better to talk in person. Until you go blank and look like a moron.

Also, about the second part, I doubt it. I have no problems living alone. But I'd like to try it once.

Edit: Is there anything else I should tell her? There must be more than that.

[Lord_Shinnok]

Mod, let it go man. All you seem to be doing now is trying to get one of us to support you but i doubt it is going to happen (outside of the crazed poster on a late night posting binge).

Its done, its over. Deep breath, exhale. move on.

[Module88]

Mod, let it go man. All you seem to be doing now is trying to get one of us to support you but i doubt it is going to happen (outside of the crazed poster on a late night posting binge).

Its done, its over. Deep breath, exhale. move on.

? Trying to get one of you to support me? Uh, I asked for advice. Not pity. :thumbsup:

[Ash Housewares]

? Trying to get one of you to support me? Uh, I asked for advice. Not pity. :thumbsup:

then he's advising you to give it up, as am I

[Module88]

then he's advising you to give it up, as am I

I don't know if most if you are all blind or not, but I'm not going to let it end this way. If anything, at the VERY least, I'm going to apologize to her. And whether you think that is wrong or not isn't going to stop me from doing so. Perhaps you, and others, like to leave the job unfinished. I don't. So, as I said before, if you have no useful advice, then don't post.

[Lord_Shinnok]

? Trying to get one of you to support me? Uh, I asked for advice. Not pity. :thumbsup:

pity? i know you aren't asking for pity. What I'm saying is you seem to be seeking support for continuing with this girl that doesn't seem to have any interest in you THAT way. You are tapping a dry well it seems.

I don't pity people in these situations, i just feel they should move on.

[Module88]

pity? i know you aren't asking for pity. What I'm saying is you seem to be seeking support for continuing with this girl that doesn't seem to have any interest in you THAT way. You are tapping a dry well it seems.

I don't pity people in these situations, i just feel they should move on.

Then clearly you have problems with reading comprehension. No tricks, no games, no sarcasm. If you don't understand the very simple things I'm telling you, please, stop trying to "help."

[Lord_Shinnok]

Then clearly you have problems with reading comprehension. No tricks, no games, no sarcasm. If you don't understand the very simple things I'm telling you, please, stop trying to "help."

if you aren't willing to accept suggestions from people then stop seeking advice

[Module88]

if you aren't willing to accept suggestions from people then stop seeking advice

I accept useful suggestions, such as Ranger's suggestions. I'm not going to drop this by forgetting about it. I'm going to finish it with an apology. Now, if you aren't going to offer suggestions on what to say/how to do that, stop posting. I don't need crap, I need advice. Perhaps I actually want a conclusion to this?

[Lord_Shinnok]

I accept useful suggestions, such as Ranger's suggestions. I'm not going to drop this by forgetting about it.

I never said to forget about it, i said to move on. There is a difference between the two.


I'm going to finish it with an apology. Now, if you aren't going to offer suggestions on what to say/how to do that, stop posting. I don't need crap, I need advice. Perhaps I actually want a conclusion to this?

just because you don't like a suggestion doesn't make it crap. I'm not going to give you a step by step instruction on what to do or say. That's not my business and frankly it won't you help you. What you need to understand that there is no perfect way to do this. How you do it is up to you and no one else. You came here asking for suggestions and i gave you mine. If you don't like it then don't take it. No need to call it crap or anything along those lines.

Also, you'll never have a conclusion to this. Life doesn't have conclusions until you die.

[Module88]

just because you don't like a suggestion doesn't make it crap. I'm not going to give you a step by step instruction on what to do or say. That's not my business and frankly it won't you help you. What you need to understand that there is no perfect way to do this. How you do it is up to you and no one else. You came here asking for suggestions and i gave you mine. If you don't like it then don't take it. No need to call it crap or anything along those lines.

Also, you'll never have a conclusion to this. Life doesn't have conclusions until you die.

I asked for advice (later in the thread) on how to apologize. Your's had nothing to do with it. That IS crap. It doesn't answer my question or help me in any way. What else is it? And I will have a conclusion to this. I'll finish it. That's it, done. I don't see where you got the last part.

[Ash Housewares]

I accept useful suggestions, such as Ranger's suggestions. I'm not going to drop this by forgetting about it. I'm going to finish it with an apology. Now, if you aren't going to offer suggestions on what to say/how to do that, stop posting. I don't need crap, I need advice. Perhaps I actually want a conclusion to this?

her saying "no" twice sounds pretty conclusive to me

[Module88]

her saying "no" twice sounds pretty conclusive to me

Yes, well, I want to end it on a positive note. From where I'm standing, it looks like I was wrong to do so and as such, I have an obligation to apologize for it.

[Ash Housewares]

Yes, well, I want to end it on a positive note. From where I'm standing, it looks like I was wrong to do so and as such, I have an obligation to apologize for it.

apologize for what now?

[Module88]

apologize for what now?

Impertinence, rashness, insensitivity, so forth.

[Twoflower]

hmm, there is no "job". there is no story. there s nothing to end. try to see it from the girl s point of view... as i said, caring :) for her it s probably allready finished. if not you gave us a wrong picture. i actualy read the whole thread and all you tell us about her is that you think she s not much into boys and that she told you "no" twice allready. so for her the "job" (what a ugly word) is finished

well, if you have to, apologise. if you realy overdid it. do it your own way, whit your own words, and not whit anything you may read on a internet forum :rolleyes: . and leave it by that.

and yes, if you come here asking for help, dont pick only the answers you like. the ones you dont like ( most part of the answers here as it seems ) probably hold as much trouth as the rest. everything has at least 2 sides, and if you only see your you ll run straight past the deeper understanding of the situation ( or any situation u ll come across in life )

i think u can learn more here than just what to say to taht girl :thumbsup:

[Module88]

well, if you have to, apologise. if you realy overdid it. do it your own way, whit your own words, and not whit anything you may read on a internet forum :rolleyes: . and leave it by that.

Maybe some ideas would help? Yes? Ranger has been useful. I'm sure someone has something useful to say.


and yes, if you come here asking for help, dont pick only the answers you like. the ones you dont like ( most part of the answers here as it seems ) probably hold as much trouth as the rest. everything has at least 2 sides, and if you only see your you ll run straight past the deeper understanding of the situation ( or any situation u ll come across in life )


I pick on answers that answer my question. If I asked you about the meaning of life, and you talked about hamburgers, do you think I should listen to you? I don't think so.

[Lord_Shinnok]

I pick on answers that answer my question. If I asked you about the meaning of life, and you talked about hamburgers, do you think I should listen to you? I don't think so.

and what if the secret of life is tied in with hamburgers? You just missed out because of your own closed mind. Of course thats one heck of a out there example far removed from anything we were kind's talking about.

[Module88]

and what if the secret of life is tied in with hamburgers? You just missed out because of your own closed mind. Of course thats one heck of a out there example far removed from anything we were kind's talking about.

My mind isn't closed, it's working. The point is, you didn't answer the question. I'm going to neglect anything that doesn't answer the question. It seems logical to me.

[Ash Housewares]

I just plain don't understand the question

[Module88]

I just plain don't understand the question

I am going to apologize. Any suggestions on how to go about this/ what to say?

[Twoflower]

My mind isn't closed, it's working. I'm going to neglect anything that doesn't answer the question.

that s called a closed mind, isnt it ? cmon wake up man, we mean it good whit you



as for apologicing, how about "i m sorry for ... (whatever you did)" ? anything else would be more than apologising...

[Module88]

that s called a closed mind, isnt it ? cmon wake up man, we mean it good whit you

No, that's called a logical mind. If the "advice" doesn't answer the question, why should I listen to it? It's USELESS. I asked for advice about how to apologize, and I got suggestions like "forget about it and move on." What does that have to do with apologizing? I see nothing wrong with an apology, and if anyone else does, please elaborate. Come to think of it, those statements weren't even about apologizing. It was referring to the start of the thread, and we've passed that stage.


as for apologicing, how about "i m sorry for ... (whatever you did)" ? anything else would be more than apologising...

I want her to know I mean it. That would like some half-***ed apology, which I tried earlier. Apparently she didn't take me too seriously, because she laughed. :mad:

[Ash Housewares]

I want her to know I mean it. That would like some half-assed apology, which I tried earlier. Apparently she didn't take me too seriously, because she laughed. :mad:

perhaps she doesn't understand why you would apologise, for the same reason we don't seem to understand maybe?

[Module88]

perhaps she doesn't understand why you would apologise, for the same reason we don't seem to understand maybe?

So she laughs? Cripes. So confusing. :(

[Ev_]

I see nothing wrong with an apology, and if anyone else does, please elaborate.
Module, Here's what I could see go wrong with an apology. Since she's obviously not into you, it's very likely that she's already over the fact that you've asked her out twice. To put it bluntly; she isn't thinking about you, not even in a bad way. So to apologize to her would be bringing the subject to the surface AGAIN. IE flogging a dead horse, water under the bridge, and that thing about sleeping dogs.

If she thinks that you're not focused on it anymore, I'm sure she'll have no aversion to maintaining the extremely casual friendship you two have. That right there is the only chance you have at being with this girl in the future (which, despite your immediate intentions, is what you obviously want). But by apologizing, you will remind her that you're still thinking about it, which will only make her LESS likely to even consider having you as a friend.

[Ash Housewares]

Module, Here's what I could see go wrong with an apology. Since she's obviously not into you, it's very likely that she's already over the fact that you've asked her out twice. To put it bluntly; she isn't thinking about you, not even in a bad way. So to apologize to her would be bringing the subject to the surface AGAIN. IE flogging a dead horse, water under the bridge, and that thing about sleeping dogs.

If she thinks that you're not focused on it anymore, I'm sure she'll have no aversion to maintaining the extremely casual friendship you two have. That right there is the only chance you have at being with this girl in the future (which, despite your immediate intentions, is what you obviously want). But by apologizing, you will remind her that you're still thinking about it, which will only make her LESS likely to even consider having you as a friend.

I'm having a difficult time thinking of how to explain the apologizing would be a selfish act

she doesn't care and doesn't expect it, that much is a given so... if you aren't apologizing for her sake I just don't understand why you should

[Carnage-DVS]

Wow. For 11 pages I've been waiting for you to stop posting, and go out and ask her for the 3rd time. STOP POSTING AND JUST ASK HER ALREADY GODDAMMIT!

[Lord_Shinnok]

this all goes back to what i said earlier, move on. it was related only your "logical thinking" didn't want to see how. apologizing could only make the situation worse for all the reasons previously stated. moving on with your life is the best option because it seems she already has.

[Necrophilous]

read 2 pages and got tired.. so many pages.. so i mighta missed out on some important stuff..


Buut...... i think you should just do random good things for her as a freind. that always works. just take things slow.. real slow. develop a nice friendship and if it still doesnt work.. you got yourself a cool friend :) (hopefully)

my best freind, who happens to be a girl, says personality counts most in what girls look for. If you're ugly.. doesnt mean youre outa luck.. just means you need to work on your attitude more... u know as they say.... nice guys look better everytime a girl looks at em.. (horribly rephrased)

but hey.. what do i know.. took me 5 years to ask a girl out Lol :/ : (

[Omikron8]

Women/girls between the ages of 15 and 25/30 have no idea what they want from the opposite sex. Even though men are much more "crude" in their desires at least they are straightforward about it.

[Twoflower]

Women/girls between the ages of 15 and 25/30 have no idea what they want from the opposite sex.


looks like he dosnt know either... best hint : buy "the art of loving" from Erich Fromm, read it and understand what went wrong afterwards :rolleyes:

[Tao_of_Xero]

Nothing says real love or long-term committed relationship with rampant sex like turning into creepy stalker guy :thumbsup: you know nature has a way of warning you that some things are bad for you, Like the way broccoli has that horrible taste, it's warning you not to eat it. Women are the same way. She's trying to warn you off without, um,having you take a bite as it were. Based on everything I've read here your best hope is the chloroform method. Or maybe you could contract some terrible disease and call the Make-A-Wish Foundation and see if they can help you out.

Failing the sure fire method listed above, maybe try talking to her friends? Or if you're really desperate (apparently) volunteer to do some yardwork for her parents and use that as your in.

[DrunkCajun]

So she laughs? Cripes. So confusing. :(

How is this still confusing?

She's clearly not really interested in you, for whatever reason. Who knows why, besides the fact that there's little you can likely do to change it. You've asked her out twice, and she's put the issue to rest, twice. As far as she's concerned, it's done with and not something she'll have to be faced with again. Every time you go back and ask her out again, apologize for making such a scene (and in the process make an even bigger scene out of it with your melodrama), or generally fawn over her, you make her a) uncomfortable, b) wonder if she's somehow not being clear, c) even less likely to want you around for fear that you'll bring something this back up, again, d) all of the above.

I know that in your head right now, you're just bursting with wanting to show her what a great guy you are, and that's fine and dandy, but she's made up her own mind independant of your assessment. You could save her grandmother and puppy from a burning building right now, and she may still not feel any different. It sounds to me like you're hoping that apologizing will somehow elevate your status in her eyes by showing her "what an honorable guy" you are, and in fact I can see no other conclusion to it beyond her making darn sure your paths don't cross again.

Shrug it off, vent into some paper (writing tends to do wonders for this sort of situation--I used to have an entire notebook cover to cover with poetry and rants about girls I was dating/dated/wanted to date in high school), and focus your energy and attention elsewhere. It may not seem like it will be the best thing right now, but trust me, you'll thank yourself later.

Keep bugging her and you'll find yourself thinking back on it in 5 years and cringing, hoping that she never shows up at your HS reunion or that you never run into her around town.

[Twoflower]

aah cajun, we ve been telling him this for 6 pages now :) hope he listens this time

[Geeno]

How old is this kid anyways 15?

Have you ever talked to people outside of the internet?

[mexicanoloco]

module...we are givving you advice..if you dont like it there is no reasing you should call it crap..i read the whole thread and when 10 pages all say the same...well you'll know why..but thats just our point of view..you shouldnt go call it crap

[Jimi-]

she is going to tell you the hard way if you keep asking

[Twoflower]

How old is this kid anyways, 15?

i think he said 17, but way too young it seems anyway to be able to interact normaly whit a woman :|

[Module88]

She's clearly not really interested in you, for whatever reason.

Or anyone else, for that matter.

Every time you go back and ask her out again, apologize for making such a scene (and in the process make an even bigger scene out of it with your melodrama), or generally fawn over her, you make her a) uncomfortable, b) wonder if she's somehow not being clear, c) even less likely to want you around for fear that you'll bring something this back up, again, d) all of the above.[/QUOTE]

I don't make scenes. No drama. No fawning. It's an apology, how dramatic can you get?


I know that in your head right now, you're just bursting with wanting to show her what a great guy you are, and that's fine and dandy, but she's made up her own mind independant of your assessment. You could save her grandmother and puppy from a burning building right now, and she may still not feel any different. It sounds to me like you're hoping that apologizing will somehow elevate your status in her eyes by showing her "what an honorable guy" you are, and in fact I can see no other conclusion to it beyond her making darn sure your paths don't cross again.

Or maybe, I'm apologizing because I'm sorry I was so impertinent? No, that can't possible be it.


It may not seem like it will be the best thing right now, but trust me, you'll thank yourself later.

This doesn't consume my life. I don't spend every waking moment of the day depressed and thinking about that. Quite the contrary, actually.


module...we are givving you advice..if you dont like it there is no reasing you should call it crap..i read the whole thread and when 10 pages all say the same...well you'll know why..but thats just our point of view..you shouldnt go call it crap

Look, advice that doesn't answer the question IS crap. You don't seem to get it. I can't really explain it more than that. Any advice that is pertinent to the question at hand isn't. Anything off topic is. I don't know what to tell you, that's as simple as I can make it.

[mexicanoloco]

look...we are telling you what you could do...thats not off topic!!

[Module88]

telling you what would be a good thing to do isnt off topic...

The question was how to go about apologizing. If it doesn't relate to that, then, it's just about useless. What do you want me to say?

[mexicanoloco]

The question was how to go about apologizing. If it doesn't relate to that, then, it's just about useless. What do you want me to say?

dude..we all are saying you shouldnt apologize

[Damnatorius]

Well at least wait a little while with asking again, especially if you've just apologised for asking her out the way you did last time.

iimo getting friends is usually done because you already spend a lot of time together with for example work, school or sports and you slowly develop friendship. Dating is usually reserved for when you're attracted to somebody a different way, or want to find out if that's the case. It may not be what your opinion of what dating is, but it might be hers. So maybe make sure she understands it's not for that?

[Module88]

Well at least wait a little while with asking again, especially if you've just apologised for asking her out the way you did last time.

iimo getting friends is usually done because you already spend a lot of time together with for example work, school or sports and you slowly develop friendship. Dating is usually reserved for when you're attracted to somebody a different way, or want to find out if that's the case. It may not be what your opinion of what dating is, but it might be hers. So maybe make sure she understands it's not for that?

I'm lost. When did I apologize the first time? :Scratch:

[Module88]

dude..we all are saying you shouldnt apologize

I don't see how apologizing has anything to do with "asking" for anything, other than perhaps forgiveness. So, if you are talking about that, what's with the "stop asking her"?

[Ranger14]

Ok gang, the way I see it, Module came into this thread hell bent on asking this girl out a third time and he was beat up on here about asking her out two times as it was. He has listened to the advice as it sounds like he isn't going to ask her out, but feels he needs to apologize, perhaps because we all beat up on him about not listening to her. I respect him for at least changing his motives and stance now.

I don't necessarily think you need to apologize, Module, but give him a break people, he wants to apologize. Quit beating him up about asking her out again. It sounds like he has bagged that idea. I would categorize that as listening to the advice here, or at least figuring it out himself.

[mexicanoloco]

Ok gang, the way I see it, Module came into this thread hell bent on asking this girl out a third time and he was beat up on here about asking her out two times as it was. He has listened to the advice as it sounds like he isn't going to ask her out, but feels he needs to apologize, perhaps because we all beat up on him about not listening to her. I respect him for at least changing his motives and stance now.

I don't necessarily think you need to apologize, Module, but give him a break people, he wants to apologize. Quit beating him up about asking her out again. It sounds like he has bagged that idea. I would categorize that as listening to the advice here, or at least figuring it out himself.
i agree with you there...but theres no reasing to call our advice crap..he could have said nicley first

[TopHatCat64]

Wow. For 11 pages I've been waiting for you to stop posting, and go out and ask her for the 3rd time. STOP POSTING AND JUST ASK HER ALREADY GODDAMMIT!

Indeed, I think just about anyone who could have read this thread has replied already.

You're not listening to the majority of our advice and we can't understand your side of it. If you're set on talking to her again just do it and let this thread die.

[Module88]

i agree with you there...but theres no reasing to call our advice crap..he could have said nicley first


I asked for advice about how to proceed, not whether I should proceed or not. Ranger for instance, has done that. As far as I can tell, many more have not. If not, then don't post. It might seem stupid to you, but friendship isn't stupid to me.


So, as I said before, if you have no useful advice, then don't post.


Now, if you aren't going to offer suggestions on what to say/how to do that, stop posting.

How many times do I have to say it nicely before it's enough?

[mexicanoloco]

How many times do I have to say it nicely before it's enough?
4... :p but ...really no reason to call it crap!! of you dont like it dont take the advice and do what you think is best

[Twoflower]

i m realy looking forward to her answer...

till then, let s not post in here again

we have the stats : 98 % say you shouldnt bugger her again, you think different... now do it, and tell us how she turned you down this time :lol:

[mexicanoloco]

i m realy looking forward to her answer...

till then, let s not post in here again

we have the stats : 98 % say you shouldnt bugger her again, you think different... now do it, and tell us how she turned you down this time :lol:
lol....we warned you module...on the other hand i wanna see what she says! :lol:

[DrunkCajun]

Or anyone else, for that matter.

Oh, well in that case you'd better just keep on asking. Bombard her with dinner invitations. I mean, she can't possibly not be interested in someone and you not know about it. Or *gasp* maybe no one's interesting enough for her to waste her time? Nah, you're right. Keep bugging her, I'm sure she'll eventually swoon after you stalk her a little more.


I don't make scenes. No drama. No fawning. It's an apology, how dramatic can you get?

When its something she considers off the radar, and not even worth thinking about anymore, every time you bring it up you create a scene, add drama, and give her something to go laugh about with her friends. "Man, this kid really can't get the message...its starting to freak me out, today he got all apologetic, like I actually cared!"


Or maybe, I'm apologizing because I'm sorry I was so impertinent? No, that can't possible be it.

And I'm saying that at this point, cut your losses. Then again, since you got very defensive at what was a very reasonable post (and I now regret taking the time to read this entire thread and think through my reply to you--you're clearly too immature to handle constructive criticism), I doubt you're really the type of person to see when an issue is reasonably dead. So yeah, go get a dozen roses to bring with you to the apology, you never know, she might swoon and decide you're just such a swell guy after all that she wants to take you to McDonalds to compensate you for leading you on all this time. Ha.


This doesn't consume my life. I don't spend every waking moment of the day depressed and thinking about that. Quite the contrary, actually.

Clearly. Cause you don't get worked up about it or anything. Come to think of it, you don't even get super-defensive about it when someone says something you don't want to hear, even after asking for our opinions and advice. You're right, it must really not mean anything to you, after all, you're only still trying to find excuses to pester this poor girl.


Look, advice that doesn't answer the question the way I want it answered IS crap.

There, I fixed that for you, cause that's what you really mean.

Good luck with it. Let us know how the hearing goes when she files for a restraining order. :thumbsup:

[Module88]

Oh, well in that case you'd better just keep on asking. Bombard her with dinner invitations. I mean, she can't possibly not be interested in someone and you not know about it. Or *gasp* maybe no one's interesting enough for her to waste her time? Nah, you're right. Keep bugging her, I'm sure she'll eventually swoon after you stalk her a little more.

You haven't been paying attention. Before you comment, please read first. Get off your high horse. You don't know me or my motives.


When its something she considers off the radar, and not even worth thinking about anymore, every time you bring it up you create a scene, add drama, and give her something to go laugh about with her friends. "Man, this kid really can't get the message...its starting to freak me out, today he got all apologetic, like I actually cared!"

I create a scene? How do you know?


And I'm saying that at this point, cut your losses. Then again, since you got very defensive at what was a very reasonable post (and I now regret taking the time to read this entire thread and think through my reply to you--you're clearly too immature to handle constructive criticism), I doubt you're really the type of person to see when an issue is reasonably dead. So yeah, go get a dozen roses to bring with you to the apology, you never know, she might swoon and decide you're just such a swell guy after all that she wants to take you to McDonalds to compensate you for leading you on all this time. Ha.

So, what you're saying is, you understand my motives, and I'm apologizing because I obviously want to get her to go with me. Right. I'm glad you know me so well. So well in fact, that you can know everything about me over two posts over in internet forum. Ha.


Clearly. Cause you don't get worked up about it or anything. Come to think of it, you don't even get super-defensive about it when someone says something you don't want to hear, even after asking for our opinions and advice. You're right, it must really not mean anything to you, after all, you're only still trying to find excuses to pester this poor girl.

I don't get defensive, even if I don't want to hear it. I get defensive when it has nothing to do with the question, and when people make baseless accusations because they think they know someone because of a post on an internet forum. Clearly, with what you've said here, you don't even understand that. So, before you TRY to understand me (over two posts on the internet :lol: ) or my motives, why don't you try understanding the question first? What makes you think you can even begin to know me when you don't even understand what I'm saying?

[mexicanoloco]

You haven't been paying attention. Before you comment, please read first. Get off your high horse. You don't know me or my motives.



I create a scene? How do you know?



So, what you're saying is, you understand my motives, and I'm apologizing because I obviously want to get her to go with me. Right. I'm glad you know me so well. So well in fact, that you can know everything about me over two posts over in internet forum. Ha.



I don't get defensive, even if I don't want to hear it. I get defensive when it has nothing to do with the question, and when people make baseless accusations because they think they know someone because of a post on an internet forum. Clearly, with what you've said here, you don't even understand that. So, before you TRY to understand me (over two posts on the internet :lol: ) or my motives, why don't you try understanding the question first? What makes you think you can even begin to know me when you don't even understand what I'm saying?
module..we cant really give you advise on what to say..we dont know this girl...you yourself said it..we are not gonna know what shes like after 10 posts about her in a thread...you should really be asking your personfriends what to do..or people that actually knows what this girl is like

[Module88]

module..we cant really give you advise on what to say..we dont know this girl...you yourself said it..we are not gonna know what shes like after 10 posts about her in a thread...you should really be asking your personfriends what to do..or people that actually knows what this girl is like

What would you say. You don't need to know the girl, say you were in the same situation, what would you say?

[Ev_]

What would you say. You don't need to know the girl, say you were in the same situation, what would you say?
Module, did you read my last reply? If you didn't, go read it. If you did, go read it again. I've BEEN in your situation. A girl I was persistent with despite her cancelling almost every date we had set up. I could apologize now (because looking back on that time period now I realize how much of a jackass I acted like), and I've considered doing so, but I decided not to because it's in the past. We're friends now, albeit very distant ones. Just like you and this girl. Trust me, apologizing would just cause her to think about thinks she thinks she's left in the past.

[Module88]

Module, did you read my last reply? If you didn't, go read it. If you did, go read it again. I've BEEN in your situation. A girl I was persistent with despite her cancelling almost every date we had set up. I could apologize now (because looking back on that time period now I realize how much of a jackass I acted like), and I've considered doing so, but I decided not to because it's in the past. We're friends now, albeit very distant ones. Just like you and this girl. Trust me, apologizing would just cause her to think about thinks she thinks she's left in the past.

Now you do realize that this past of mine is... less than a week? -_-

[mexicanoloco]

What would you say. You don't need to know the girl, say you were in the same situation, what would you say?
module..the thing is that i would probably say something to her..BUT I DONT KNOW HER!! I DONT KNOW HER ATTITUDE SO I DONT KNOW IF THAT WOULD MAKE HER ANGRY OR IT WOULD WORK!! i have to know her to see what type of person she is and then i plan on what to say

[Module88]

module..the thing is that i would probably say something to her..BUT I DONT KNOW HER!! I DONT KNOW HER ATTITUDE SO I DONT KNOW IF THAT WOULD MAKE HER ANGRY OR IT WOULD WORK!! i have to know her to see what type of person she is and then i plan on what to say

You'd never think an apology could be so complicated. I'm just going to wing it. -_-

[TopHatCat64]

You'd never think an apology could be so complicated. I'm just going to wing it. -_-

:lol:

ooy...if you only you could have told us that 14 pages ago.

[Module88]

:lol:

ooy...if you only you could have told us that 14 pages ago.

No see, the thread has evolved. O_O That wasn't the idea 14 pages ago. :) But, this is more complicated than it needs to be, and since there aren't many suggestions on how to go about this, I'm just going to wing it. -_-

[Ev_]

Now you do realize that this past of mine is... less than a week? -_-
Yes. My advice is the same regardless of how long ago it happened.

[cyclotronic]

Good choice, it is always better to "wing it" as opposed to having a script planned out in your head, its always weird talking to someone when you know that have something to say, but wont come out with it.Spontaneity is a must for the first date. JUst go in with a goal, to be her freind or lover or whatever.

[Ash Housewares]

You haven't been paying attention. Before you comment, please read first. Get off your high horse. You don't know me or my motives.

you appear to be operating on the misconception that you are unique

"you don't know me!"
"nobody understands me!"

get over that phase quick, it'll be much easier for us all

[Module88]

Yes. My advice is the same regardless of how long ago it happened.

Check. Also note, this is a prime example of a post that relates to the topic. Nice. :thumbsup:

[FenrisWulf]

Check. Also note, this is a prime example of a post that relates to the topic. Nice. :thumbsup:
...but Module, Ev_'s advice is that you stop pursuing this approach. Don't apologize to her. Just drop it, and try to let things work out naturally. You highlight his post as a prime example of what you were looking for.

WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE THREAD WHERE PEOPLE WERE ADVISING EXACTLY THE SAME THING?!

[Module88]

...but Module, Ev_'s advice is that you stop pursuing this approach. Don't apologize to her. Just drop it, and try to let things work out naturally. You highlight his post as a prime example of what you were looking for.

WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE THREAD WHERE PEOPLE WERE ADVISING EXACTLY THE SAME THING?!

The original post (which I missed) actually referred to the question. Everyone else said, forget about it, drop her, and left it. Ev explained (I missed it the first time by the way), AND she was talking about an apology. As far as I'm concerned, pretty much everyone else has been against asking her out again, as you can see by posts from Cajun, Damn (which I think misunderstood), Jimi, etc, who continued to say not to ask her out. WE'RE PAST THAT. Those are the types of posts I'm referring to. Nothing in your post should even mention "asking again" anymore, but it's still showing up.

[Module88]

you appear to be operating on the misconception that you are unique

"you don't know me!"
"nobody understands me!"

get over that phase quick, it'll be much easier for us all

Please. Drunk is acting as if I'm obviously doing this to get laid and because I still am trying to ask her out etc etc. Well guess what? Maybe not everyone is in it for the sex or the cuddling, eh?

[Ash Housewares]

Please. Drunk is acting as if I'm obviously doing this to get laid and because I still am trying to ask her out etc etc. Well guess what? Maybe not everyone is in it for the sex or the cuddling, eh?

you're oversimplifying it
obviously you're still concerned with what she thinks of you so you want to apologize, I've just been trying to say, think more of what she would want (not to go back to the issue anymore) than about what you want (to drag it up once more in the hopes of salvaging something positive out of it?)

if you want to move on and not worry about asking her out again and all that, then do so, and don't worry about an apology

[Module88]

you're oversimplifying it
obviously you're still concerned with what she thinks of you so you want to apologize, I've just been trying to say, think more of what she would want (not to go back to the issue anymore) than about what you want (to drag it up once more in the hopes of salvaging something positive out of it?)

if you want to move on and not worry about asking her out again and all that, then do so, and don't worry about an apology

Actually, it's my stupid conscience's fault. -_- Stoopid guilty consciences. =/

[Ash Housewares]

Actually, it's my stupid conscience's fault. -_- Stoopid guilty consciences. =/

its this I'm having trouble believing/understanding

you asked her out, she said no, that's her prerogative, what responsibility is there on you to smooth it over? where did you go wrong that you need to apologise? I'm just not seeing it

[Module88]

its this I'm having trouble believing/understanding

you asked her out, she said no, that's her prerogative, what responsibility is there on you to smooth it over? where did you go wrong that you need to apologise? I'm just not seeing it

Because I sounded like an impertinent ***hole. -_- That is what you guys have been saying, and I agree.

[DrunkCajun]

You haven't been paying attention. Before you comment, please read first. Get off your high horse. You don't know me or my motives.

I create a scene? How do you know?

So, what you're saying is, you understand my motives, and I'm apologizing because I obviously want to get her to go with me. Right. I'm glad you know me so well. So well in fact, that you can know everything about me over two posts over in internet forum. Ha.

I don't get defensive, even if I don't want to hear it. I get defensive when it has nothing to do with the question, and when people make baseless accusations because they think they know someone because of a post on an internet forum. Clearly, with what you've said here, you don't even understand that. So, before you TRY to understand me (over two posts on the internet :lol: ) or my motives, why don't you try understanding the question first? What makes you think you can even begin to know me when you don't even understand what I'm saying?

Module, your original question: "What could be going on in her head?"

My answer was, in case you missed it in my long-winded post: "She's not interested."

Let's see. I need to know you to be able to offer advice in this thread, but, as you put it,
You don't need to know the girl, say you were in the same situation, what would you say?

Hrm. So I need to know you, but not her to offer advice relevant to this?

Good logic there. Anyway, I'll try and be constructive again. Maybe you could not verbally lambast me this time?

Module, I'm not saying you're going to go and rant and rave about this and make a huge dramatic scene in front of everyone by apologizing. I'm saying that by even going back up and saying hi to the girl and bringing anything about the two of you up again, you're creating drama. All you need to say to her is "look, I know I didn't go about this all the best way, and I'm sorry" and she'll be put in a stressful situation. How is she supposed to react? It may seem clear as day to you what she should say, but then it may be clear as day to her what you should have said in the first place, and you couldn't figure it out.

Am I making sense? What seems like a completely harmless nothing to you may be a very stressful event for her. And no, I don't know her or you, but that doesn't matter. I said may. That chance is enough--for me, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't do anything. I'd chalk it up to the board of losses, walk away and not look back. You have nothing to gain from an apology and a lot more damage that it could do. The best case for you is that she accepts your apology and hopes internally that you don't cross paths again. The worst case is that she finally freaks out on you and tells you to get away from her, makes a scene herself and makes your legit and honest attempt to apologize out to seem like something it was not.

Cut and dry enough?

[FenrisWulf]

@Module88:
I don't think that people up to this point have necessarily meant to say that you've been acting like an impertinent ***hole. Rather, they had been cautioning you that if you chose to continue in the same vein (trying to ask her out to dinner again, after being rejected twice), that's probably the impression you would have given. Bringing it up again in any way at all will probably have the same effect, especially if it's with an apology, since that would explicitly reinforce the notion that she has something to blame you for.

Anyway, you really haven't done anything wrong in wanting to be her friend. It's a very noble thing that just happened to not have worked out. So, don't force it, don't apologize, and just see how things work out.

[Module88]

Module, your original question: "What could be going on in her head?"

My answer was, in case you missed it in my long-winded post: "She's not interested."

That question was a little bit old. You missed what topic we're on.


Let's see. I need to know you to be able to offer advice in this thread, but, as you put it,

Hrm. So I need to know you, but not her to offer advice relevant to this?

Good logic there. Anyway, I'll try and be constructive again. Maybe you could not verbally lambast me this time?

Am I asking you to pass judgement? No. I don't need you to question my motives, my intentions, or anything else about me for that matter. You don't need to know her to give your opinion on what you would do regarding an apology. You DO need to know me in order to be able to pass judgement on my motives, etc. You passed judgement about my motives, and you were wrong.


Module, I'm not saying you're going to go and rant and rave about this and make a huge dramatic scene in front of everyone by apologizing. I'm saying that by even going back up and saying hi to the girl and bringing anything about the two of you up again, you're creating drama. All you need to say to her is "look, I know I didn't go about this all the best way, and I'm sorry" and she'll be put in a stressful situation. How is she supposed to react? It may seem clear as day to you what she should say, but then it may be clear as day to her what you should have said in the first place, and you couldn't figure it out.

If that's not what you meant when you said, "every time you bring it up you create a scene, add drama, and give her something to go laugh about with her friends," then I don't know what the hell you are talking about. You're not making much sense. How is she supposed to react? I would HOPE she accepts my apology, but if not, I tried, and that's all I can do. I'm fine with that.


Am I making sense? What seems like a completely harmless nothing to you may be a very stressful event for her. And no, I don't know her or you, but that doesn't matter. I said may. That chance is enough--for me, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't do anything. I'd chalk it up to the board of losses, walk away and not look back. You have nothing to gain from an apology and a lot more damage that it could do. The best case for you is that she accepts your apology and hopes internally that you don't cross paths again. The worst case is that she finally freaks out on you and tells you to get away from her, makes a scene herself and makes your legit and honest attempt to apologize out to seem like something it was not.

She isn't bothered by such things, as I've seen from her reactions. She's not one of those emotional types who gets stressed out all the time. I have everything to gain from an apology. Knowing that I tried, and that I won't have regret in the future for what I "could have done" is enough of a profit for me.

[DrunkCajun]

If that's not what you meant when you said, "every time you bring it up you create a scene, add drama, and give her something to go laugh about with her friends," then I don't know what the hell you are talking about. You're not making much sense. How is she supposed to react? I would HOPE she accepts my apology, but if not, I tried, and that's all I can do. I'm fine with that.

She isn't bothered by such things, as I've seen from her reactions. She's not one of those emotional types who gets stressed out all the time. I have everything to gain from an apology. Knowing that I tried, and that I won't have regret in the future for what I "could have done" is enough of a profit for me.

Well it seems that perhaps it would have helped me to know her a little then?

You clearly know her better than I, Module. I'm just telling you my opinion based on my 24 years of experience, and my experience with a dozen girlfriend and twice as many failed attempts at such. I've been in your situation before, several times, as I mentioned in my original post, and have had to deal with your situation before. I am not you, and I deal with things differently, so I was offering my perspective.

Perhaps you feel that you have everything to gain from an apology, and you ultimately are the only one who can decide that for yourself. You did, however, ask in here what we thought, and many people have voiced their opinion on that matter, myself included. If you don't agree with my advice, that's fine and dandy, simply don't take it. Easy as that. I merely put it out there in the case that it might be useful for you.

Either way, you seem hell-bent on apologizing to her. You know how I feel about it, and how a few others who have expressed their feelings on the matter, so weigh your options, consider what you've been given as advice, and act as you see fit. It's not up to us, it's up to you.

[sunbearie]

Man this was a long thread.

Can I just ask a question? Could it just be she really hates to eat at that place? Being rejected twice could just be a matter of bad timing etc. Next time, work on seeing what's going on, see where she would rather eat, is she busy etc.

You shouldn't apologise just because you didn't do anything wrong.

[Module88]

Perhaps you feel that you have everything to gain from an apology, and you ultimately are the only one who can decide that for yourself. You did, however, ask in here what we thought, and many people have voiced their opinion on that matter, myself included. If you don't agree with my advice, that's fine and dandy, simply don't take it. Easy as that. I merely put it out there in the case that it might be useful for you.

I did. However, I did not expect hostile and sarcastic remarks and repetitive comments referring to a question that has already answered.

[Ev_]

Ev explained (I missed it the first time by the way), AND she was talking about an apology.
What exactly do I do to make people think I'm a "she" all the time? :lol:

[Module88]

What exactly do I do to make people think I'm a "she" all the time? :lol:

Ev just sounds so damn feminine. :D

[Ash Housewares]

What exactly do I do to make people think I'm a "she" all the time? :lol:

quiet woman

[jimmyboy]

What exactly do I do to make people think I'm a "she" all the time? :lol:

Your avatar, that's clearly an abstact painting of a woman with large boobs wearing a green tank-top.

[Steel_Avatar]

What exactly do I do to make people think I'm a "she" all the time? :lol:

I pronounce the two letters, as in Ee Vee (http://www.dltk-kids.com/pokemon/quiz/eevee.gif).

[Ev_]

I pronounce the two letters, as in Ee Vee (http://www.dltk-kids.com/pokemon/quiz/eevee.gif).
My ears aren't quite that big, but the rest is remarkably accurate. :D