Oxy
07-11-2004, 22:19
After a long period of death, suckage and looking-ugly, Baal has been slayed! A group of eight adventurers alledgedly said "gib itamz plz!", and they heard that their needs would be fulfilled by killing "MFisto" and "teh pitz", but first they'd need "ubar lebel" and that they would succeed in getting that by doing "hall baal runz". We got hold of one of the adventurers. Here is his side of the story!
"After having left a previous team of adventurers, who got hurt a lot (OUCH!) for no reason - accident prone, prolly - I set out into the wilderness. I had killed numerous cows before setting out with this latest group of adventurers, and thus my killing skills were many. My English skills are many as well, but that's beside the point.
"But I digress. At first, I met up with one of the persons I'd be adventuring with. He was a pimp, no doubt about it, but he seemed untrustworthy to me. When he showed me his 30", though, I had no doubts I could trust him.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099860457.jpg
"Yes indeed, we wrecked havoc. He did do a fine job at 'pwning' this and 'pwning' that, I must admit. For some reason, though, he dropped out at the last minute. He had to tend for other's offspring, unfortunately. He was(n't) missed.
"Our party ventured on from the Rogue Encapement. Friends of a member of our party joined in, and our count reached seven. While we waited for all to gether, one of the Paladins was nice enough to help me summon my army outside. He had a nice backside. Looked like a member of GAT.
"We were missing one - his name was Brent the Slick: he was a fierce Paladin, skilled in the art of placing an orange aura underneath our feet. It looked cool. Finally, the group was becoming restless, and we would wait no longer. I offered my waypoint to the Outer Cloister, but my party refused. The were in the Dark Wood. 'oh ****', I muttered. We were saving that old geezer again. Deckard Cain, a helpless old man that served only one purpose; to identify my elite itamz. Oh well. Better get this over with.
"As I was opening the portal into Tristram, Brent the Slick appeared. The forces of evil grew stronger, but t'was 'k'. He portalled in and ventured into Tristram with us. I spotted Cain, but stayed back. Someone else delivered him from his ratty old cage. The ratty old cage rhymed with his banty old mind, I pondered.
"I stopped pondering about Cain's batty old mind and pondered whether the others were pondering to go get the Wirt's leg. I pondered not. I dragged my armada over there and tried to get the Wirt's leg from under the Wirt's body, but he flipped around and starting farting gold. I picked up the leg which he farted out first, and steered clear of the gold. Then, I portalled into town.
"I wanted to avoid Deckky, but it was too late. A conversation ensued.
'Hello, old friend, good to see you!'
*mumble grumble* '... hi Cain.'
'As a token of my gratitude for saving me--
'-- for the third ****ing time--'
'-- I shall identify your items free of charge!'
'I never take use of your services anyways, I identify items on the spot with scrolls of identify sold by a merchant in every single corner of the world. When on the battle field, and I can't carry all that stuff in my backpack so I have to lighten my load as much as possible. I'm a necro, not a barb. I'd be wasting scrolls of TP to have you ID my stuff, and I'd waste time, so best just have a tome of ID.'
'........... You have quite a treasure there in that horadric cube! Did you know, two quiver of arrows yields a quiver of bolts, while tw--'
'Gah, just shut up.'
"I walked away.
"Brent the Slick offered a portal to the Monastary Catacombs, lebel two. We took it, and slayed Andariel, who was probably in the midst of putting on her make-up. Her eyeliner must have slipped when we came barging in, cuz' damn, I won't be forgetting an ugly face like that any time soon.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099861599.jpg
"We got to Lut Gholein. This town wasn't bad. It was damn hot, though, so we got out of there as soon as we could. I missed the summoner quest, so I had to wait in town while the others got the quest. T'was noob.
"Once in Act 3, we found Lam Esen's Tome, owned the Council and pwned Mephisto. He dropped five rares. I kicked his corpse. What an arse.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099861716.jpg
"In the Pandamenium Fortress, Slick the Brent (:]) was starting to get weary.
Teh lagz was apparently 'GGing' him, and he could take it no longer. We found that little twit, Izual, got our two skill points from Tyreal (who comes up with these names, anyway?) and went down to the River Of Flame, without going to pay Hephasto a visit. I mean, there was seven of us, and one of him. He'd have to take a beating seven times just so we could get some smelly old rocks fom the hellforge. Still, though we discussed this upon ourselves out loud, Hadriel started talking when we set off towards the Chaos Sanctuary.
"Halt. Before venturing into Diablo's lair, go to the hel... yaddy yaddy yadda. This guy must be Cain's son, or something.
"After some of my skellies took a swim in the river, we realized that these old mage-looking-folk were cursing at us. We swung back with the best swear-alliteration we possibly could, but every time we hit, those guys hit back five times stronger. Melee characters were out, casters were in. Woo hoo (Editor's note: play Blur, Song 2 here). And so we rocked out the sanctuary, said hi to Seis, and I blasted all the corpses around him. Then we rocked out big D.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099862060.jpg
"Once Tyreal opened a portal to Harrogath for us, we immediately set off for the Frigid Highlands, to kill Shenk the Overseer and get us' the town's r3zp3kt. Larzuk was nice enough to offer me a socket, and I socketed my Tiara. I looked like a princess.
"We found Anya frozen in Ice, and this Frozenstein dude was blocking the way. Our party rocked his world just like we rocked Diablo's. He was no match for us.
"So, Anya was saved, and now our quest was coming to a close. Baal would soon be at our feet, laying down like the pitiful waste he is. Nevertheless, we still had to face the Ancients, which felt like our biggest fight. Preperations were made.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099862298.jpg
"The fight was fierce.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099862328.jpg
And now, for the most interesting part of this tale...
We got down to the Worldstone Keep and owned Baal! Thanks for the game guys, was a lot of fun. Will gladly do this again with a new character. Thanks again! :] Nice, safe, and a lot of fun! No deaths, awesome! Great spawns on the Ancients. Had a lot of fun, stay safe.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099862423.jpg
"After having left a previous team of adventurers, who got hurt a lot (OUCH!) for no reason - accident prone, prolly - I set out into the wilderness. I had killed numerous cows before setting out with this latest group of adventurers, and thus my killing skills were many. My English skills are many as well, but that's beside the point.
"But I digress. At first, I met up with one of the persons I'd be adventuring with. He was a pimp, no doubt about it, but he seemed untrustworthy to me. When he showed me his 30", though, I had no doubts I could trust him.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099860457.jpg
"Yes indeed, we wrecked havoc. He did do a fine job at 'pwning' this and 'pwning' that, I must admit. For some reason, though, he dropped out at the last minute. He had to tend for other's offspring, unfortunately. He was(n't) missed.
"Our party ventured on from the Rogue Encapement. Friends of a member of our party joined in, and our count reached seven. While we waited for all to gether, one of the Paladins was nice enough to help me summon my army outside. He had a nice backside. Looked like a member of GAT.
"We were missing one - his name was Brent the Slick: he was a fierce Paladin, skilled in the art of placing an orange aura underneath our feet. It looked cool. Finally, the group was becoming restless, and we would wait no longer. I offered my waypoint to the Outer Cloister, but my party refused. The were in the Dark Wood. 'oh ****', I muttered. We were saving that old geezer again. Deckard Cain, a helpless old man that served only one purpose; to identify my elite itamz. Oh well. Better get this over with.
"As I was opening the portal into Tristram, Brent the Slick appeared. The forces of evil grew stronger, but t'was 'k'. He portalled in and ventured into Tristram with us. I spotted Cain, but stayed back. Someone else delivered him from his ratty old cage. The ratty old cage rhymed with his banty old mind, I pondered.
"I stopped pondering about Cain's batty old mind and pondered whether the others were pondering to go get the Wirt's leg. I pondered not. I dragged my armada over there and tried to get the Wirt's leg from under the Wirt's body, but he flipped around and starting farting gold. I picked up the leg which he farted out first, and steered clear of the gold. Then, I portalled into town.
"I wanted to avoid Deckky, but it was too late. A conversation ensued.
'Hello, old friend, good to see you!'
*mumble grumble* '... hi Cain.'
'As a token of my gratitude for saving me--
'-- for the third ****ing time--'
'-- I shall identify your items free of charge!'
'I never take use of your services anyways, I identify items on the spot with scrolls of identify sold by a merchant in every single corner of the world. When on the battle field, and I can't carry all that stuff in my backpack so I have to lighten my load as much as possible. I'm a necro, not a barb. I'd be wasting scrolls of TP to have you ID my stuff, and I'd waste time, so best just have a tome of ID.'
'........... You have quite a treasure there in that horadric cube! Did you know, two quiver of arrows yields a quiver of bolts, while tw--'
'Gah, just shut up.'
"I walked away.
"Brent the Slick offered a portal to the Monastary Catacombs, lebel two. We took it, and slayed Andariel, who was probably in the midst of putting on her make-up. Her eyeliner must have slipped when we came barging in, cuz' damn, I won't be forgetting an ugly face like that any time soon.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099861599.jpg
"We got to Lut Gholein. This town wasn't bad. It was damn hot, though, so we got out of there as soon as we could. I missed the summoner quest, so I had to wait in town while the others got the quest. T'was noob.
"Once in Act 3, we found Lam Esen's Tome, owned the Council and pwned Mephisto. He dropped five rares. I kicked his corpse. What an arse.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099861716.jpg
"In the Pandamenium Fortress, Slick the Brent (:]) was starting to get weary.
Teh lagz was apparently 'GGing' him, and he could take it no longer. We found that little twit, Izual, got our two skill points from Tyreal (who comes up with these names, anyway?) and went down to the River Of Flame, without going to pay Hephasto a visit. I mean, there was seven of us, and one of him. He'd have to take a beating seven times just so we could get some smelly old rocks fom the hellforge. Still, though we discussed this upon ourselves out loud, Hadriel started talking when we set off towards the Chaos Sanctuary.
"Halt. Before venturing into Diablo's lair, go to the hel... yaddy yaddy yadda. This guy must be Cain's son, or something.
"After some of my skellies took a swim in the river, we realized that these old mage-looking-folk were cursing at us. We swung back with the best swear-alliteration we possibly could, but every time we hit, those guys hit back five times stronger. Melee characters were out, casters were in. Woo hoo (Editor's note: play Blur, Song 2 here). And so we rocked out the sanctuary, said hi to Seis, and I blasted all the corpses around him. Then we rocked out big D.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099862060.jpg
"Once Tyreal opened a portal to Harrogath for us, we immediately set off for the Frigid Highlands, to kill Shenk the Overseer and get us' the town's r3zp3kt. Larzuk was nice enough to offer me a socket, and I socketed my Tiara. I looked like a princess.
"We found Anya frozen in Ice, and this Frozenstein dude was blocking the way. Our party rocked his world just like we rocked Diablo's. He was no match for us.
"So, Anya was saved, and now our quest was coming to a close. Baal would soon be at our feet, laying down like the pitiful waste he is. Nevertheless, we still had to face the Ancients, which felt like our biggest fight. Preperations were made.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099862298.jpg
"The fight was fierce.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099862328.jpg
And now, for the most interesting part of this tale...
We got down to the Worldstone Keep and owned Baal! Thanks for the game guys, was a lot of fun. Will gladly do this again with a new character. Thanks again! :] Nice, safe, and a lot of fun! No deaths, awesome! Great spawns on the Ancients. Had a lot of fun, stay safe.
http://www.teamareola.com/phpBB/replays/1099862423.jpg